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More Things To Do in and around York in the jaws of a Jurassic invasion. Here’s Hutch’s List No. 4, courtesy of The Press, York

FROM giant dinosaurs to a heavyweight comedian, hardcore songs to a royal reading, Charles Hutchinson seeks to make life eventful.

Dinosaurs make a comeback: Jurassic Earth, Grand Opera House, York, January 28, 1pm and 4pm

JURASSIC Earth’s “live dinosaur show” roams York in an immersive, interactive, 75-minute, storytelling experience for all ages with state-of-the-art, animatronic, life-like creatures.

Audiences are invited to “bring your biggest roar and your fastest feet as you take Ranger Danger’s masterclass to become an Official Dinosaur Ranger – gaining the skills you need to come face-to-face with the world’s largest walking T Rex, a big-hearted Brontosaurus, tricky Triceratops, uncontrollable Carnotaurus, vicious Velociraptors and sneaky Spinosaurus”. Box office: atgtickets.com/york.

Tim Lowe: Cellist and York Chamber Music Festival director, performing Messiaen’s Quartet For The End Of Time at York Minster

 Holocaust memorial concert of the week: York Chamber Music Festival, Olivier Messiaen’s Quartet For The End Of Time, York Minster, Tuesday, 7pm

YORK Chamber Music Festival marks Holocaust Memorial Week – and the start of the festival’s tenth anniversary – with a performance of “one of the greatest pieces of music from the 20th century”, written and premiered in the German prisoner-of-war camp at Stalag VIIIa, Gorlitz, in 1941.

Olivier Messiaen’s Quartet For The End Of Time will be played by John Lenehan, piano, Sacha Rattle, clarinet, John Mills, violin, and festival director Tim Lowe, cello, in York Minster’s Lady Chapel under John Thornton’s restored 15th century Great East Window (the “Apocalypse Window”). Box office: tickets.yorkminster.org.

Lloyd Griffith: Comedy measured out as One Tonne Of Fun at The Crescent, York. Picture: Matt Crockett

Comedy gig of the week: Burning Duck Comedy Club presents Lloyd Griffith, One Tonne Of Fun, The Crescent, York, Thursday, 7.30pm

AFTER Covid stretched Lloyd Griffith’s last tour to “eight years or so”, he returns with his biggest itinerary to date, One Tonne Of Fun.

Since school, he has always been a show-off, and 20-odd years later, nothing’s changed, so expect stand-up, dubious impressions and a sprinkling of his (incredible) singing from the comic with Ted Lasso, 8 Out Of 10 Cats, Soccer AM, Question Of Sport, Not Going Out and House Of Games credits. Box office: thecrescentyork.com.

Ewa Salecka: Directing Prima Vocal Ensemble at the Joseph Rowntree Theatre

Choral concert of the week: Prima Vocal Ensemble, Lift Every Voice, Joseph Rowntree Theatre, York, January 29, 7.30pm

EWA Salecka directs Prima Vocal Ensemble in a life-affirming concert that weaves its way through diverse generations and genres with live accompaniment.

Living composers Lauridsen, Gjeilo, Whitacre and Jenkins sit alongside favourite numbers from Les Misérables and The Greatest Showman, complemented by songs by Annie Lennox, Elbow, the Gershwins and Cole Porter and a tribute to the people of Ukraine. Box office: 01904 501935 or josephrowntreetheatre.co.uk.

Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls: Playing York Barbican at the end of January

Hardcore York gig of the month: Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls, York Barbican, January 31, 8pm

FRANK Turner, punk and folk singer-songwriter from Meonstoke, Hampshire, will be accompanied by The Sleeping Souls in York as he draws on his nine studio albums from a 17-year solo career.

Last year, the former Million Dead frontman, 41, topped the UK Official Album Chart for the first time with FTHC (his anagram for Frank Turner Hardcore) after his previous four all made the top three. Support slots go to Lottery Winners & Wilswood Buoys. Box office: yorkbarbican.co.uk.

Rosemary Brown: Author gives an insight into the remarkable life of Nellie Bly at York Theatre Royal

Who was Nellie Bly? In Conversation With Rosemary Brown, York Theatre Royal, February 4, 5.15pm, free admission

YORK Theatre Royal and Tilted Wig’s touring adaptation of Jules Verne’s madcap adventure Around The World In 80 days features not only the fictional feats of Phileas Fogg but also the real-life story of Nellie Bly, American journalist, industrialist, inventor, charity worker and globe-crossing record breaker.

In a free talk, director and adaptor Juliet Forster will be in conversation with Rosemary Brown, author of Following Nellie Bly, Her Record-Breaking Race Around The World, a book inspired by this human rights and environmental campaigner’s aim to put female adventurers back on the map. Box office: 01904 623568 or yorktheatreroyal.co.uk.

Tony Froud: Directing York Shakespeare Project’s rehearsed reading of Edward II

The second coming of…York Shakespeare Project, Edward III, rehearsed reading, upstairs at Black Swan Inn, Peasholme Green, York, February 7, 7.30pm

PHASE Two of York Shakespeare Project begins with a staged rehearsed reading of Edward III, the rarely performed 1592 history play now widely accepted as a collaboration between William Shakespeare and Thomas Kyd, replete with its celebration of Edward’s victories over the French, depiction of the Black Prince and satirical digs at the Scots.

Rehearsed readings in February will be a regular part of YSP’s revamped remit to include work by the best of Shakespeare’s contemporaries. Tony Froud’s cast includes Liz Elsworth, Emma Scott and Mark Hird, best known for his work with Pick Me Up Theatre. Tickets: on the door or via eventbrite.com.

Home work: Sara Howlett, Sophie Bullivant and Laura Castle in rehearsal for Rowntree Players’ spring production of Teachers Leavers ’22

Spring term school play: Rowntree Players in Teechers Leavers ’22, Joseph Rowntree Theatre, York, March 16 to 18, 7.30pm and 2.30pm Saturday matinee  

REHEARSALS are underway for Rowntree Players’ production of Teechers Leavers ’22, former teacher John Godber’s update of his state-of-education play, commissioned for £100 by Hull Truck Theatre in 1984.

Actor Jamie McKeller, familiar to York ghost-walk enthusiasts as Deathly Dark Tours spookologist Doctor Dorian Deathly, is working with a cast of Sara Howlett, Sophie Bullivant and Laura Castle as they “put in the hard work needed for this very physically demanding play”. Box office: 01904 501935 or josephrowntreetheatre.co.uk.

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More Things To Do in York and beyond as 2023’s shoots start to poke through. Hutch’s List No. 3, courtesy of The Press

Linus Karp: Invitation to join Diana in heaven as she shares the untold and untrue tale of her extraordinary life at Theatre@41. Picture: Dave Bird

FROM a drag Diana to a DIY staging of Harry Potter, synth pop turned symphonic to a long-running Agatha Christie mystery, Charles Hutchinson goes in search of entertainment new and old.

Royal verité show? Probably not! Linus Karp in Diana: The Untold And Untrue Story, Theatre@41, Monkgate, York, February 3 and 4, 7.30pm

DO you know the story of Diana? Probably. But do you know writer-performer Linus Karp’s  story of Diana? “We very much doubt it,” say Awkward Productions, the harbingers of theatrical chaos responsible for this humorous, if tasteless, celebration of the people’s princess.

Join Diana in heaven as she shares the untold and untrue tale of her extraordinary life through a combination of drag, multimedia, audience interaction, puppetry and “a lot of queer joy”. Box office: tickets.41monkgate.co.uk.

Sketch of Lendal and street in progress by Steve Beadle, one of the Navigators Art artists exhibiting at Helmsley Arts Centre

Exhibition of the week: Navigators Art, Moving Pictures II, at Helmsley Arts Centre, until March 3; Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 10am to 3pm; Thursdays, 11am to 3pm, and during event opening times

YORK collective Navigators Art are represented by seven artists at Helmsley: Kai Amafé, prints and 3D work; Steve Beadle, paintings and drawings; Michael Dawson, paintings; Richard Kitchen, prints and collages; Katie Lewis, textiles and paintings; Timothy Morrison, constructions, and Peter Roman, paintings.

“The title Moving Pictures is deliberately open to interpretation by the audience as well as the artists,” says co-founder Richard Kitchen, who will be stewarding an 11am to 3pm open day tomorrow (15/1/2023). Exhibition entry is free.

Textile art by Katie Lewis, another of the Navigators Art artists on show in Moving Pictures II at Helmsley Arts Centre

Fundraiser of the week: White Rose Theatre in A Gala Night (and day) Of Musical Theatre, Joseph Rowntree Theatre, York, today, 2.30pm and 7.30pm

THE Katie Ventress School of Dance, York Musical Theatre Company and guest soloists will be accompanied by a band under the musical direction of John Atkin in these uplifting gala concerts to blow away the post-Christmas blues.

Favourites from Les Miserables, Jesus Christ Superstar and Anything Goes are promised. All proceeds will go to the JoRo’s Raise The Roof campaign. Box office for the last few tickets: 01904 501935 or josephrowntreetheatre.co.uk.

Electrifying Eighties: Calling Planet Earth gives a symphonic coating to Duran Duran and co

Nostalgia of the week: Calling Planet Earth, A New Romantic Symphony, York Barbican, January 21, 8pm

A NEW Romantic Symphony heads out on a journey through the electrifying Eighties to revisit the songs of Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet, The Human League, Ultravox, Tears For Fears, Depeche Mode, Japan, ABC, Soft Cell and Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark.

Symphonic arrangements combine with “stunning vocals” in a parade of hits that defined a decade. Box office: yorkbarbican.co.uk.

Pottervision: Lukas Kirkby and Tom Lawrinson re-create first film Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone with DIY props, wigs and charity-shop costumes

Magic with mayhem? Pottervision, Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough, February 10, 7.45pm

LUKAS Kirkby and Tom Lawrinson gather up DIY props, charity-shop costumes and wizarding wigs for their “ridiculous re-creation” of Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone, staged with multiple role-playing and limited resources after two fellow performers drop out.

What could possibly go wrong?! Find out in Pottervision, a fantastical spectacular for casual fan and avid squib alike. Please note: suitable for age 16 upwards on account of adult language and dark humour. Box office: 01723 370541 or sjt.uk.com.

Miles & The Chain Gang: New single to promote at Alne Village Hall

Back on the Chain Gang: Alne Music Club presents Miles & The Chain Gang, Alne Village Hall, Main  Street, Alne, February 11, 7.30pm

YORK band Miles & The Chain Gang head to their first gig of the year with an imminent new single in their locker, Charlie. Recorded last September at Young Thugs Studio in York, it features Miles Salter, guitar and vocals, Tim Bruce, bass, Daniel Bowater, keyboards, Steve Purton, drums, and Mat Watt, guitar.

“We’re filming the video in the next few days with our video guru Dave Thorp,” says Salter. Tickets: from  d.lepper27@btinternet.com or on 01347 838114. 

Dimitra Ananiadou: Violinist to peform recital with pianist Richard Whalley at NCEM

Take a bow: Dimitra Ananiadou & Richard Whalley, A Travel Through Time, National Centre for Early Music, York, February 25, 7pm

DIMITRA Ananiadou returns to York to travel back in time for a violin recital that explores the creation of Baroque, classical and 20th century music with the aid of her special bows.

Composer and pianist Richard Whalley will be accompanying her on the journey through JS Bach’s Violin Partita No. 2 in D minor (Ciaccona), Niccolò Paganini’s Caprice for Solo Violin No. 24 Op. 1, Beethoven’s Violin Sonata Op. 30 No. 2 and Fritz Kreisler’s Praeludium and Allegro in the style of Gaetano Pugnani. Box office: 01904 658338 or ncem.co.uk.

Todd Carty: Playing Major Metcalf in 70th anniversary tour of The Mousetrap

Mystery play in York:The Mousetrap, Grand Opera House, March 6 to 11, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Wednesday and Saturday matinees

AGATHA Christie’s mystery The Mousetrap, “the longest running play in the world”, takes in more than 70 venues on its 70th anniversary tour, including a return to York’s Grand Opera House.

EastEnders’ duo Todd Carty, as Major Metcalf, and Gwyneth Strong, as Mrs Boyle, feature in Ian Talbot’s cast for this tale of intrigue and suspense set at Monkswell Manor, a stately countryside guesthouse where seven strangers find themselves snowed in as news spreads of a murder in London. When a police sergeant arrives, the guests discover – to their horror – that a killer is in their midst. Whodunnit? Box office: atgtickets.com/York.

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Stephen Daldry’s thrilling version of JB Priestley’s An Inspector Calls returns to York roots for Grand Opera House run

A scene from Stephen Daldry’s production from J B Priestley’s An Inspector Calls, heading to the Grand Opera House, York, on tour. Picture: Tristram Kenton

STEPHEN Daldry’s radical take on Yorkshireman J B Priestley’s thriller An Inspector Calls will return next month to York, the city where he first staged his award-garlanded production.

His premiere came at the Theatre Royal in the autumn of 1989, three years before its triumphant London opening at the National Theatre. Nineteen major awards and five million theatregoers worldwide later, Inspector Goole will be arriving unexpectedly at the prosperous Birling family home once more, this time on tour at the Grand Opera House from February 7 to 11.

Written at the end of the Second World War and set before the First, Priestley’s time play opens with the Birlings’ peaceful dinner party being shattered by the inspector’s call and subsequent investigations into the death of a young woman.

Goole’s startling revelations will shake the very foundations of their lives and challenge us all to examine our consciences as Daldry highlights the enduring relevance of Priestley’s dramatisation of the dangers of casual capitalism’s cruelty, complacency and hypocrisy. 

Liam Brennan will reprise his role as Inspector Goole from past tours, joined by Christine Kavanagh as Mrs Birling, Jeffrey Harmer as Mr Birling, Simon Cotton as Gerald Croft, Evlyne Oyedokun as Sheila Birling, George Rowlands as Eric Birling and Frances Campbell as Edna. 

Here, 2022-2023 tour cast member George Rowlands addresses questions not asked by Inspector Goole but by an investigative journalist.

Did you study An Inspector Calls at school?

“I did read it at school, although I can’t really remember much of it. But I did always like it. I always think at school when you sit down and analyse every single word, it can make you go a bit crazy, and I always thought it ruined books and plays.”

Is your appreciation of the play different as an adult?

“Now that I’m an adult, or more importantly now that I’m an actor, I definitely have more of an appreciation for it. This production of An Inspector Calls is now 30 years old and yet still as popular as ever.”

What makes the play so timeless and this production so engaging?

“At the end of the day, at its centre it’s a play about somebody in distress, and that doesn’t get old, does it? I think at different points in time, when we’ve put it on over the last 30 years, it’s been relevant. And this time around I think it’s more relevant than ever because of what’s going on in terms of the strike action and housing crisis.”

A shattering moment in An Inspector Calls

Provide three facts about your character, Eric Birling…

“Eric is well educated because he’s been sent to public school. He enjoys a drink, probably a little bit too much. The third fact is that Eric really wants to be respected by his dad. Unfortunately, the combination of those three facts results in some pretty catastrophic things.”

What made you want to be an actor?

“I think it beat doing any other boring job. I did find out quite early on in Year 6, for the-end-of-school plays we did The Wizard Of Oz, and I completely rewrote the script because I thought it was rubbish and obviously made my parts the best.

“I like storytelling and I like the creative and artistic aspect of it. With this production, it has enabled that part of acting, and it’s been a really good creative process.”

What’s the best part of going on tour with a show?

“Being able to play in these amazing theatres – I’m really excited to do that – and bringing the story to people.”

What are the essentials for your dressing room?

“ I’m sharing a room with Simon [Cotton], who’s playing Gerald. I don’t know… I think a bottle of water goes a long way. A bottle of water and some Vaseline is not a terrible idea – for the lips, obviously. I get chapped lips.”

What’s the most challenging part of being a performer?

“With other jobs, you can put a direct amount of work in, you can work more, you can do this, this and this, and your results will be better because of it. Like, if you’re studying for an exam, the more you revise, the better the result.

“But with acting it doesn’t work like that because being good is so subjective. There’s no grade. I think that’s quite hard. Putting lots of work in and not knowing really how it will go.”

If you could swap roles for a performance, would you?

“If I could pick any character, I’d probably pick Edna. I would love to play that role. If you haven’t seen this production, there’s a special thing that Edna is part of – a little bit of magic. She’s amazing.

“My second choice would be Mrs Birling. I really like Mrs Birling; she’s got such sass and doesn’t have the insecurities that Eric is stuck with.”

The National Theatre and PW Productions present An Inspector Calls at Grand Opera House, York, from February 7 to 11, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday matinees. Box office: atgtickets.com/York.

George Rowlands’ Eric Birling and Christine Kavanagh’s Mrs Birling in rehearsal in 2022 for An Inspector Calls
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More Things To Do in York and beyond. Hutch’s List No. 2 for the road ahead in 2023, apocalyptic art et al, from The Press

John Ledger: Back To Normalism artist at Micklegate Social and Fossgate Social

IT’S time for back-to-normal service to resume as Charles Hutchinson wipes the sleep from the eyes of his diary for 2023. 

Exhibition launch of the week: Back To Normalism, by John Ledger, Micklegate Social, Micklegate, and Fossgate Social, Fossgate, York, January 13 to March 13

ON the portentous Friday the 13th, the preview of Barnsley artist John Ledger’s solo show Back To Normalism begins at 7pm at Micklegate Social. 

Ledger looks at the uncanny reality that has unfolded since the pandemic started, along with the underlying weirdness of trying to patch up the black holes in our collective experience of time, in a show about cultures uprooted and disjointed by a series of disasters and distorted by the consequences of trying to repeatedly return to a “before” moment.

Baaaaaarrrrgggghhhhhhbican frustration! Ricky Gervais’s brace of Armageddon dates at York Barbican sold out in 27 minutes

Apocalypse very soon: Ricky Gervais, Armageddon, York Barbican, Tuesday and Wednesday 7.30pm precisely

ARMAGEDDON is not the end of the world as we know it but the name of grouchy comedian, actor, screenwriter, director, singer, podcaster and awards ceremony host Ricky Gervais’s new tour show.

Gervais, 61, will be torching “woke over-earnestness and the contradictions of modern political correctness while imagining how it all might end for our ‘one species of narcissistic ape’,” according to the Guardian review of his Manchester Apollo gig. Box office? Oh dear, you’re too late for Armageddon; both nights have sold out.

Chris Helme: Revisiting his days in The Seahorses

Love Is The Law unto himself: Chris Helme, solo Do It Yourself 25th Anniversary Tour, Pocklington Arts Centre, January 14, 8pm

YORK singer-songwriter Chris Helme is marking the 25th anniversary of The Seahorses’ only album, Do It Yourself, released on May 26 1997 in guitarist John Squire’s short-lived post-Stone Roses project with Helme and fellow York musician Stuart Fletcher on bass.

Recorded in North Hollywood, California, the album was pipped to the number one spot by Gary Barlow while debut single Love Is The Law reached number three. A further highlight of Helme’s solo acoustic set will be Love Me And Leave Me, Liam Gallagher’s first songwriting credit, no less. Box office: 01759 301547 or pocklingtonartscentre.co.uk.

The Lonesome Ace Stringband: Turning bluegrass bluer and grassier at Selby Town Hall

Better late than never: The Lonesome Ace Stringband, Selby Town Hall, January 18, 8pm

RE-SCHEDULED from January 20 2022, The Lonesome Ace Stringband’s gig features righteous folk and country music, played by an old-time band with bluegrass chops and a feel for deep grooves.

Band members Chris Coole, banjo, John Showman, fiddle, and Max Heineman, bass, are three Canadians lost in the weird and wonderful traditional country music of the American South, having served their time in New Country Rehab, The David Francey Band, The Foggy Hogtown Boys and Fiver. Box office: 01757 708449 or selbytownhall.co.uk.

Robert Gammon: Relaxed concert of piano music at St Chad’s

Afternoon entertainment: Robert Gammon, Dementia Friendly Tea Concert, St Chad’s Church, Campleshon Road, York, January 19, 2.30pm

AT the first Dementia Friendly Tea Concert of 2023, pianist Robert Gammon plays J S Bach’s Prelude and Fugue in B flat major from The Well-Tempered Clavier Book 2, Mozart’s Piano Sonata in B flat major K. 570 and Schubert’s serene Impromptu in A flat major, D. 935 No. 2. 

As usual, 45 minutes of music will be followed by tea and homemade cakes in the church hall. Next up will be University of York Students (violin and piano) on February 16. No charge, but donations welcome for church funds and Alzheimer’s charities.

Tales From Acorn Wood: Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler’s stories take to the York Theatre Royal stage

Children’s show of the month: Tales From Acorn Wood, York Theatre Royal, January 26, 4pm; January 27, 11am and 2pm

NLP’s world premiere staging of Tales From Acorn Wood is based on favourite stories from Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler’s lift-the flap books for pre-school children, featuring the sock-losing old Fox, the tired Rabbit, Postman Bear’s special surprise and Pig and Hen’s game of hide-and-seek.

Suitable for one-year-olds and upwards or anyone who loves books, this 50-minute touring show is full of songs, puppetry, projection and flap-lifting technology. Box office: 01904 623568 or yorktheatreroyal.co.uk.

Rob Auton: Getting mighty Crowded in his new stand-up show

Crowd pleaser: Rob Auton, The Crowd Show, Theatre@41, Monkgate, York, February 24, 8pm; Hyde Park Book Club, Leeds, February 25, 7.30pm

CHARMINGLY eccentric, uplifting and poetic writer, comedian, actor and podcaster Rob Auton returns home to York on the 2023 leg of The Crowd Show tour.

After his philosophical observations on the colour yellow, the sky, faces, water, sleep, hair, talking and time, now he discusses crowds, people and connection in a night of comedy and theatre “suitable for anyone who wants to be in the crowd for this show”. Box office: York, tickets.41monkgate.co.uk; Leeds, hydeparkbookclub.co.uk.

Stewart Lee: Three nights, fully booked already, at York Theatre Royal in March

Too late for tickets already: Stewart Lee, Basic Lee, York Theatre Royal, March 20 to 22, 7.30pm

AFTER filming last May’s three-night run of his Snowflake/Tornado double bill for broadcast on the BBC, spiky comedian Stewart Lee returns to York with his back-to-basics new show.

Following a decade of ground-breaking high-concept gigs involving overarched interlinked narratives, Lee enters the post-pandemic era in streamlined solo stand-up mode: one man, one microphone, and one microphone in the wings in case the one on stage breaks. Tickets update: Sold out, basically.

Hands up who’s starring in Heathers: The black comedy musical to die for is heading to the Grand Opera House

Too cool for school: Heathers The Musical, Grand Opera House, York, May 9 to 13

WELCOME to Westerberg High, where Veronica Sawyer is just another nobody dreaming of a better day. When she joins the beautiful and impossibly cruel Heathers, however, her craving for popularity may finally come true, whereupon mysterious teen rebel JD teaches her that it might kill to be a nobody, but it is murder being a somebody.

Winner of the What’sOnStage Award for Best New Musical, Kevin Murphy and Laurence O’Keefe’s black comedy rock musical, based on the 1988 cult film, makes its York debut,  produced by Bill Kenwright and Paul Taylor-Mills, directed by Andy Fickman and choreographed by Gary Lloyd. Box office: atgtickets.com/York.

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Dame Berwick’s panto, The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose, is on the home straight

Berwick Kaler’s dame, Mrs Plum-Duff, in The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose. Picture: David Harrison

DAME Berwick Kaler, David Leonard, Martin Barrass, Suzy Cooper and AJ Powell are into the final week of their second pantomime at the Grand Opera House, York.

The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose ends on Sunday in Berwick’s first variation on a Mother Goose theme since his Millennium pantomime, Old Mother Millie, at York Theatre Royal.

“That one gave me a panic attack,” he admitted. “There was no story, and it wasn’t based on a fairytale. To my surprise, we ended up being the only theatre doing a millennium-based panto!”

No such palpitations this time: Berwick completed his script by 6am on December 1, giving the writer, director and dowager dame plenty of rehearsal time to hone it with his regular team.

“It will either work or it won’t, but I still feel as fit as a fiddle, though I can’t jump through any more windows, but we make sure routines are properly done,” he said that day.

“I’m ageing up for the part,” joked Berwick, 76, as the Old Mother turned into the Old Granny. “I just think we can have a lot of fun with the audience about getting older. They know my age, Martin and Suzy’s age, playing my son and daughter, so each year I make them younger,” he says.

Surrounded by familiar faces, Berwick does have one new factor this year: the role of UK Productions as the Grand Opera House panto producers for the first time. “They’re the second largest panto company in the country, and they do know the history of our pantomime,” he says.

No Covid restrictions, no masks, means Berwick can revel in interaction with the audience once more. “Last year, we could only hear the laughter, not see the smiles,” he said. “But this year, I can go down the steps from the stage, get out to the audience, and I’m only interested in doing the show if I can still do that because there has to be ad-libbing.”

The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose runs at Grand Opera House, York, until Sunday. Performances: 2pm and 7pm, Thursday, Friday and Saturday; 1pm and 7pm, Sunday. Box office: atgtickets.com/York

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Ellen Kent directs Ukrainian Opera & Ballet Theatre Kyiv in La Bohème and Madama Butterfly at Grand Opera House in February

The Ukrainian Opera & Ballet Theatre Kyiv’s La Bohème

THE Ukrainian Opera & Ballet Theatre Kyiv will perform Puccini’s La Bohème on February 3 and Madama Butterfly the following night at the Grand Opera House, York.

Senbla presents these Ellen Kent touring productions for Opera International with a traditional style of staging, beautiful sets and costumes, international soloists, chorus and full orchestra.

Ukrainian soprano Alyona Kistenyova, Korean soprano Elena Dee and French soprano Olga Perrier are the tour soloists for La Bohème, Puccini’s romantic but tragic operatic tale of the doomed, consumptive Mimi and her love for a penniless writer.

The Ukrainian Opera & Ballet Theatre Kyiv’s Madama Butterfly

Bohemian art, a brass band, snow effects and Muzetta’s dog will feature in the tale of Parisian love and loss, noted for such arias as Your Tiny Hand Is Frozen, They Call Me Mimi and Muzetta’s Waltz, sung in Italian with English surtitles.

Dee, Kistenyova and Ukrainian mezzo-soprano Natalia Matveeva return in Kent’s Madama Butterfly, winner of the Best Opera Awards in the Liverpool Daily Post Theatre Awards.

Madama Butterfly’s heart-breaking story of the beautiful young Japanese girl who falls in love with an American naval lieutenant will be staged with exquisite sets, including a Japanese garden, and costumes topped off by antique wedding kimonos from Japan. Among the highlights will be Humming Chorus, One Fine Day and Love Duet.

Both 7.30pm performances will be sung in Italian with English surtitles. Tickets are on sale at atgtickets.com/york or on 0844 871 7615.

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More Things To Do in York in 2023. Hutch’s New Year List No. 1, courtesy of The Press

The horror, the horrror: Doctor Dorian Deathly swaps ghost walks for ghost talks at Theatre@41, Monkgate

AS the New Year fast approaches, Charles Hutchinson starts to fill the blank pages of a diary in need of cultural counters to so much front-page gloom.

From ghost walk to ghost talk: Doctor Dorian Deathly: A Night Of Face Melting Horror (or The Complete History Of Ghosts), Theatre@41, Monkgate, York, January 24 to 28, 8.30pm

COVID crocked York spookologist and ghost botherer Doctor Dorian Deathly’s Halloween season of macabre stories, paranormal sciences, theatrical trickery, horror, original music and perhaps the odd unexpected guest (with the emphasis on ‘odd’?) at Theatre@41.

The Visit York Tourism Awards winner has rearranged his five fright nights for late-January, when he will explore spine-chilling tales of hauntings, both local and further afield, dissemble horrors captured on film and trace the ghost story from its origins to Victorian classics and modern-day frights. Box office: tickets.41monkgate.co.uk.

Ukrainian National Opera: First visit to York with Carmen

Ukrainians in York: Dnipro Opera in Carmen, York Barbican, February 12, 7pm

DNIPRO Opera, from Ukraine, perform Georges Bizet’s opera of fiery passion, jealousy and violence in 19th century Seville in French with English surtitles, to the accompaniment of a 30-strong orchestra.

Carmen charts the downfall of Don José, a naïve soldier who falls head over heels in love with Carmen, a seductive, free-spirited femme fatale, abandoning his childhood sweetheart and neglecting his military duties, only to lose the fickle firebrand to the glamorous toreador Escamillo. Box office: yorkbarbican.co.uk

Robert Forster: New album to showcase at The Crescent

York’s Australian gig of the year: Robert Forster, The Crescent, York, March 14, 7.30pm

BRISBANE singer, songwriter, guitarist, music critic and author Robert Forster, co-founder of The Go-Betweens with the late Grant McLennan, plays a rearranged date in York, now in support of the February 3 release of his eighth solo album, The Candle And The Flame.

Made an honorary Doctor of Letters at Queensland University in 2015, Forster, 65, is writing a novel, overseeing the upcoming Volume 3 of The Go-Betweens’ boxset series, G Stands For Go-Betweens, and touring the UK, Europe and Australia in the first half of 2023. Box office: thecrescentyork.com.

Tommy Cannon: Comedian in conversation at the Joseph Rowntree Theatre

Rock on, Tommy, for charity: An Evening With Tommy Cannon, Joseph Rowntree Theatre, York, April 15, 7.30pm

KELFIELD comedian Tommy Cannon, 84, takes to the JoRo stage for an evening of songs, stories, anecdotes and conversation, reflecting on his double act on television and the boards with the late Bobby Ball.

Cannon – real name Thomas Derbyshire – will take questions from the audience at this fundraising event in aid of The Snappy Trust, the York charity that seeks to maximise the personal development of children and young people with wide-ranging disabilities. The Boro Blues Brothers will be the support act. Box office: 01904 501935 or josephrowntreetheatre.co.uk.

Composer Gus Gowland: Premiering new musical Mayflies at York Theatre Royal

New musical of the year: Gus Gowland’s Mayflies, York Theatre Royal, April 28 to May 13

GUS Gowland, an award-winning London composer, lyricist and playwright now living in York, presents the world premiere of Mayflies, the story of a romantic relationship from its first flourish to its final goodbye.

First making his mark with debut full-length musical Pieces Of String in 2018, Gowland now charts May and Fly’s progress from dating apps to tentative conversations and blossoming romance…and then they meet! Box office: 01904 623568 or yorktheatreroyal.co.uk.

The joy of SIX: Henry VIII’s wives weave their woes through Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss’s revenge musical on its return to the Grand Opera House, York. Picture: Pamela Raith

Quickfire return of the year: SIX The Musical, Grand Opera House, York, June 27 to July 2, 8pm, Tuesday to Thursday; 6pm and 8.30pm, Friday; 4pm and 8pm, Saturday, and 2pm, Sunday

HERE come the Spouse Girls again. After the history and hysteria of October’s sold-out debut run in York, the SIX pop queens make a regal return next summer in Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss’s all-female show for the millennial age.

In a pop concert with diva attitude, Henry VIII’s trouble-and-strife sextet air their grievances in song in chronological order to decide who suffered most at Henry’s hands once he put a ring on the wedding finger. From this talent-and-talons contest will emerge the group’s lead singer. Book early at atgtickets.com/York.

Miriam Margolyes: Booked into York Barbican for her Oh Miriam! musings

Outspoken national treasure speaks out: Miriam Margolyes, Oh Miriam! Live, York Barbican, October 16, 7.30pm

BAFTA-WINNING actress, chat-show regular and travel show presenter Miriam Margolyes, 81, will be telling tales from her new book, Oh Miriam!, “something that has been said to me a lot over the years, often in tones of strong disapproval,” she says.

“Reliably outrageous” Margolyes promises a riotous evening full of life and surprises, her conversation spanning revelations, stories and discoveries that she cannot wait to share. Box office: yorkbarbican.co.uk.

Ross Noble: Geordie Jibber Jabber Jamboree joviality in Harrogate and York

Stream-of-consciousnonsense on tap:  Ross Noble, Jibber Jabber Jamboree, Harrogate Royal Hall, October 26, 7.30pm; Grand Opera House, York, November 15, 8pm

GEORDIE surrealist Ross Noble ventures out on his 53-date Jibber Jabber Jamboree itinerary, his 21st solo tour, from October 2023 to March 2024. Expect inspired nonsense in his freewheeling stand-up.

“Imagine watching someone create a magic carpet on an enchanted loom,” says Noble, 46. “Oh, hang on… magic carpets fly; that would smash the loom as it took flight. I haven’t thought that through… That’s what people can expect. Razor-sharp observations on things I haven’t thought through.” Box office: atgtickets.com/York.

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Bake Off’s Prue Leith cooks up first stage show at 82 in praise of food, love and life

Dame Prue Leith: First tour at 82 next year (or 83, as her birthday falls on February 18, part-way through the 34-date run)

SHE is “probably nuts to try it”, but nevertheless The Great British Bake Off judge Dame Prue Leith will mount her debut tour next year at the age of 82.

Nothing In Moderation is in the 2023 diary for March 2 at the Grand Opera House, York, as part of a 34-date British and Irish itinerary that will run from February 1 to an April 6 finale at the London Palladium.

Nothing is off the menu – apart from cookery demonstrations – in this frank, funny, foodie show, wherein Dame Prue will share anecdotes about her life: taking audiences through the ups and downs of being a restaurateur, chef, cookery school supremo, food writer, businesswoman and Bake Off judge.

Dame Prue says: “I’ve never done a stage show before and at 82 [83 by the time she plays York] I’m probably nuts to try it, but it’s huge fun, makes the audience laugh and lets me rant away about the restaurant trade, publishers, TV and writing, and sing the praises of food, love and life.”

Gourmet guru Dame Prue has been a judge on the world’s biggest baking TV show, The Great British Bake Off, since when 2017, when she joined Paul Hollywood after the switch to Channel 4.

Before Bake Off, South African-born Prue had long enjoyed success in her career,  running her own party and event catering business in the 1960s and ’70s,  then setting up Leith’s Food and Wine to train professional chefs and amateur cooks.

From feeding the rich and famous to cooking for royalty and even poisoning her clients, all will be told for the first time in Nothing In Moderation.

Her ever-busy diary left only ten minutes on Zoom for this interview, but that’s still time enough to take the microwave fast track to asking questions. How did it all start, Dame Prue? “I was at Cape Town University, flailing around failing at everything, so I persuaded my father that I should go to France, with a view to becoming an interpreter for the United Nations, but I fell in love with French food. I do love France anyway and you can’t live in Paris for two years and not appreciate it.”

London now has more Michelin-starred restaurants than anywhere but Paris, but when Dame Prue headed to England, it was the nadir of cooking. It took Elizabeth David to change all that. “Before then, olive oil was something you bought at Boots for your ears!” she recalls.

Think of England served on a plate back then, and it would be overcooked meat, industrial gravy, slopped out with two veg.

Prue Leith was determined to rectify that. “I don’t think of myself as having been on a mission, but I’ve always wanted to be at the forefront of change, and there are some things I’m very passionate about, like having English cheese on the menu when no posh restaurant would not have had French cheese, or writing the menu in English, rather than French,” she says.

“Before Elizabeth David, olive oil was something you bought at Boots for your ears,” says Dame Prue

“When I was on the board at British Rail, I took all their top chefs to Paris for a week to experience nouvelle cuisine. They were scornful, thinking it was a little bit of food on a big white plate, not realising how exact it was, with a balance of top-quality ingredients. It was interesting to then see these scornful chefs thinking, ‘I could do that’.”

In today’s cuisine scene, “the most interesting food in England right now is street food, where refugees in lockdown started doing street food,” says Dame Prue. “Often it leads to them opening restaurants.”

To create her stage show, she wrote a script, then did a few try-outs in Leamington Spa and Bath, using a back projector to screen clips from her past or for jokes, before taking the show to New York and Los Angeles for two nights in each American city.

“At the beginning, I wasn’t loving it; my heart was beating so hard, but I got 100 per cent of the audience saying they would recommend the show to their friends, which was amazing,” says Dame Prue.

“Before I even started in LA, as soon as I walked on stage, they were hollering and whooping, and there was this great wave of appreciation. It’s the best feeling in the world. I quite understand why some comedians never retire!”

Will she change the show’s content ahead of the UK tour? “I still think there are too many funny stories about cooking for the royals and catering disasters,” she says.

Alas, the ten-minute noose was tightening, so there was no time for Dame Prue to relate those stories, but come March 2, York Barbican audience members can seek answers to “what they’ve always wanted to ask” her when she is joined on stage by Clive Tulloh in the second half.

“We curate the questions because it’s a mistake just to take a microphone to the audience, where sometimes someone just has a bee in their bonnet, rather than wanting to ask a question. To avoid all that, we ask people to write their questions and Clive then brings them together.”

One final question for Dame Prue: does she prefer The Beatles’ psychedelic 1968 version of Dear Prudence or Siouxsie And The Banshees’ post-punk 1983 cover version?

 “Well, it would be The Beatles,” she says without hesitation, forever a devotee of the Fab Four generation. “People ask me what my favourite song is and I say, ‘Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds’.”

Prue Leith: Nothing In Moderation Live Tour 2023, Grand Opera House, York, March 2 , 7.30pm. Box office: atgtickets.com/York. Also: Sheffield City Hall, February 28, 7.30pm. Box office: sheffieldcityhall.co.uk.

The poster for Dame Prue Leith’s Nothing In Moderation tour, visiting York next March

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More Things To Do in York at Christmastide and beyond the New Year. Hutch’s List No. 111, courtesy of The Press, York

Hold on, is that Noddy Holder? No, it’s a nod to Noddy Holder as tribute band Slade UK invite you to Cum On Feel The Noize at the Victoria Vaults

SLEIGHS and that Slade song, pantomime mayhem and New Year parties signify the changing of the diary for Charles Hutchinson, with one eye on 2023.

Merry Xmas Everybody: Slade UK, Victoria Vaults, Nunnery Lane, York, Christmas Eve, 7pm

SO here it is, Merry Xmas, everybody’s having fun as Slade UK, tribute act to the Wolverhampton wonders, roll out that 1973 festive chart topper and a whole heap of misspelt Slade smashes, from Gudbuy T’ Jane to Cum On Feel The Noise, Coz I Luv You to Mama Weer All Crazee Now.

“We’re really looking forward to having Slade UK at the Vaults,” says owner/manager Chris White. “It’s going to be a great evening and a lot of fun.” DJ Garry Hornby will be on the decks. Box office: theyorkvaults.com.

Mayhem, mischief and nautical naughtiness: Jonny Weldon’s Starkey, left, and Paul Hawkyard’s Captain Hook in York Theatre Royal’s The All New Adventures Of Peter Pan

Still time for pantomime, part one: The All New Adventures Of Peter Pan, York Theatre Theatre Royal, until January 2 2023

CBEEBIES’ science ace Maddie Moate and three stars of last year’s Cinderella – Faye Campbell, Paul Hawkyard and Robin Simpson – head to Neverland in York Theatre Royal’s third collaboration with Evolution Productions.

Moate plays naughty fairy Tinkerbell, Campbell, plucky Elizabeth Sweet, Hawkyard, histrionic Captain Hook and Simpson, dame Mrs Smee, joined by Jason Battersby’s Peter Pan and Jonny Weldon’s madcap pirate Starkey in creative director Juliet Forster’s production, scripted by Evolution’s pun-loving Paul Hendy. Look out for acrobats Mohammed Iddi, Karina Ngade and Mbaraka Omari too. Box office: 01904 623568 or yorktheatreroyal.co.uk.

Goose in the Grand Opera Hoose: Dame Berwick Kaler’s Mrs Plum-Duff in The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose. Picture: David Harrison

Still time for pantomime, part two: The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose, Grand Opera House, York, until January 8 2023

PETER Pan is not alone in flying across a York pantomime stage this winter. Dowager Dame Berwick Kaler does likewise at 76 in his second season at his adopted home, presented with the Grand Opera House’s new partners in panto, UK Productions.

Joining his ad-libbing granny, Mrs Plum-Duff, are sidekick Martin Barrass’s Jessie, villain David Leonard’s Lucifer Nauseus, principal gal Suzy Cooper’s Cissie, AJ Powell’s Brum Stoker and ever-game dancer Jake Lindsay’s Jakey Lad. Look out for Boris Johnson’s cameo as a dummy, me babbies, me bairns. Box office: 0844 871 7615 or atgtickets.com/York.

New Year Gala Concert, Harrogate-meets-Vienna style

Viennese waltzing into 2023:  International Gilbert and Sullivan Festival’s New Year Gala Concert, Harrogate Royal Hall, January 7 2023, 7.30pm 

CELEBRATE the dawning of the New Year in the company of the National Festival Orchestra on a whirlwind tour of bygone opulence, taking in the cafés of Vienna, the bars of Paris and the drawing rooms of London.

Enjoy waltzes, ballads and Gilbert and Sullivan favourites in a gala concert conducted by Christopher Milton and featuring international opera stars. Box office: gsfestivals-tickets.gsfestivals.org.

New Year Party, Ukrainian style: The Ukrainians mark Malanka at The Crescent, York

New Year on a different calendar: The Ukrainians: Malanka, The Crescent, York, January 14 2023, 7.30pm

ON the eastern calendar, New Year falls on January 13 and is marked in Ukraine with a variety of festivities known as Malanka.

The Ukrainians have been playing their brand of Ukrainian music for three decades on folk and roots stages, clocking up eight albums and 1,000 gigs. High-energy party songs and a few surprises are promised. Box office: thecrescentyork.com.

Heavy Spring Showers, by John David Petty, on show at Kentmere House Gallery from February 3

Exhibition on the horizon: Lost and Found, East Riding paintings by John David Petty, Kentmere House Gallery, Scarcroft Hill, York, February 3 to April 2 2023

WHERE does Kentmere House Gallery owner Ann Petherick find her artists, she is often asked. “The best ones always have to be searched out, and I think I first found John David Petty in Beverley Minster, showing a collection of wonderful paintings of doors and windows of Holderness churches,” she says.

Petty is more often to be spotted outdoors, among the flatlands of the East Riding, where this former graphic artist relishes the solitude and wide landscapes.

Favouring oils, acrylics and charcoal, his church work uses the same techniques of deeply etched lines, with the addition of paper collage to capture the texture of ancient stonework. For opening hours, go to: kentmerehouse.co.uk.

Matt Goss: Bros hits, new songs and a celebration of Cole Porter at York Barbican

What’s Matt doing next after Strictly? The Matt Goss Experience, with the MG Big Band and Royal Philharmonic, York Barbican, March 4 2023, 8pm

STRICTLY Come Dancing 2022 contestant and former Bros frontman Matt Goss, 54, performs his biggest hits, new original material and a tribute to songwriter Cole Porter in an evening of swing, glitz and swagger.

Having headlined Las Vegas for 11 years, Goss is back doing what he loves, singing with a big band and a philharmonic orchestra. Box office: yorkbarbican.co.uk.

Jimmy Carr: Still Terribly Funny in 2023

Repeat offender…or not?! Jimmy Carr, Terribly Funny 2.0, York Barbican, September 12 2023

AFTER completing a hattrick of York performances on his Terribly Funny tour – November 4 and 9 2021 and April 15 this year – provocative comedian and television panel show host Jimmy Carr is to return to the city on his Terribly Funny 2.0 itinerary.

Carr, 50, says his show “contains jokes about all kinds of terrible things. Terrible things that might have affected you or people you know and love. But they’re just jokes – they are not the terrible things”. New material is promised. Box office: yorkbarbican.co.uk or ticketmaster.co.uk.

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REVIEW: Dame Berwick Kaler in The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose, Grand Opera House, York, until January 8 2023 ***

Flagging, but not flagging: York pantomime dowager dame Berwick Kaler in regal attire for The Lambton Worm song sheet, from County Durham, at the Grand Opera House. All pictures: David Harrison

THIS is as much The Misadventures Of Old Granny Goose as The Adventures of the aforesaid ageing old bird.

Berwick Kaler and his ex-York Theatre Royal gang are back together, re-grouping like The Rolling Stones or the Friends cronies to recall the old hits – Berwick and a dummy, Berwick flying (twice), Berwick and a pool with powers that take years off his dame and, above all, Berwick going off-piste, off script – for the faithful.

Those moments, at liberty to ad-lib, are the ‘misadventures’, the ones that most delight, Berwick wandering off to the stage apron to take in the audience with mischief in his eyes, Berwick apologetically and rough-handedly correcting his misplaced stage spot, Berwick making a political jibe, Berwick winding up his fellow regulars and teasing his ensemble newbies.

What’s fresh this year? The Grand Opera House, the comeback dame’s adopted panto home for a second year, has undergone a refurbishment, new seating et al; the panto has new producers, UK Productions, overseeing costumes (an upgrade on last year), set design (standard panto scenery, smart, proficient, no York detailing) and lighting (hi-tech with a dash of pop-concert glitz).

Unspeakable dummy: Berwick Kaler’s Mrs Plum Duff and Martin Barrass’s Jessie try to work a truculent Boris Johnson in the ventriloquism scene in The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose

What else? Lovely fairy lights adorning the proscenium arch; a welcome revamp of the stock ghost scene with beds disappearing and reappearing and a host of ghosts; puppy-keen Jake Lindsay’s upgrade to a more prominent role as Jakey Lad, still the butt of Berwick’s putdowns after a decade in the ranks.

And what’s more? The three lads in the dance ensemble (Spencer Hardy, Elliot OJ Hutchinson and dance captain Samuel Lithco) aping Matthew Bourne’s all-male chorus in a brief burst of Swan Lake,  plus ensemble debuts for Leeds-trained Lucy Churchill and Niamh Hendron, and a new intake of children from York Stage School for babbies’ sweetness in ensemble scenes.

What’s old this year? The Grand Dame, of course, sending himself/herself up at 76, aware that unlike his character, Mrs Plum Duff, the Granny Goose of the title, he cannot turn back panto-time by taking a magical pool dip. 

Instead, the drama-queen dame mock-collapses at the end of big number Barmy Girl in mock-exhaustion, play acting as he demands to be helped up. He adamantly says he can’t deliver his lines any faster when urged to do so and deliberately turns his balletic flight landing into an inelegant tumble.

Old Mother Goose steps: David Leonard’s Lucifer Nauseus, centre, AJ Powell’s Brum Stoker, left, and Suzy Cooper’s Cissy, second from right, in a song-and-dance routine with ensemble Villagers

What’s the (lack of!) plot this year? Well, no, Berwick hasn’t lost the plot, but it’s brief. Or, correction, devilish David Leonard’s dandy villain, the goose-fearing Lucifer Nauseus, says it is. He has to find a fairy. That’s it. The plot.

Well, like on an allotment, there’s plot aplenty, or at least by writer-director Berwick’s infamous plot-resistant standards, there is. But yes, in essence, the villain must find a fairy to do his evil bidding for him. Oh, and the dame has to be under the misconception that the Goose is a dog.

What ticks over this year? Kirsty Sparks’s choreography; Rob Thorne’s band, and especially Berwick’s double act with comic fall guy Martin Barrass (dippy son Jessie Plum Duff), partner in the ghost scene, The Lambton Worm song sheet, and rocking-chair ventriloquism routine with Boris Johnson as the dummy.

That Tory old boy scene defines the dip in madcap mayhem since peak Kaler years, being laboured (not Laboured, unlike this pun), where it needs to make more of Johnson’s blustering vocal schtick and boot him with sharper barbs about his mendacious character.

Old Granny ghost: Jake Lindsay and a friendly ghost at play

What works best this year? No surprises. Leonard’s fab-u-lous vainglorious villainy, with his devil’s swishing tail that turns into a phone, his stage-vamping swagger, that Shakespearean lead thespian voice and his comic timing. Everything done with aplomb amid the Plum Duffs. 

His rendition of Lou Reed’s Perfect Day with first Suzy Cooper, then AJ Powell, is the show’s comic high point, anything but a perfect day, but witty and physically funny too.

What about Cooper and Powell this year? On good form, principal gal Suzy doubling up as both a classic Fairy and plummy Cissy Plum Duff, who is all doe-eyed over Powell’s would-be novelist, Brum Stoker (the pick of Kaler’s cast names for 2022).  

What’s missing this year? The film; the water splosh scene; old-school physical slapstick; topical references (save for yesterday’s men, Johnson and Matt Hancock), and an animal costume for Barrass.

Helping hands: A play-acting Berwick Kaler’s no longer super-annuated Mrs Plum Duff needs a lift from Elliot OJ Hutchinson’s Villager, left, and Jake Lindsay’s Jakey Lad after the dame’s big musical number

What replaces them? The jousting banter between the familiar players; the greater emphasis on song and dance (Leonard going from one song immediately into another); the comforting constant sense of nostalgia for Dame Berwick devotees.

The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose does not lay a golden egg of cracking comedy but is more of a curate’s egg, sunny side up at times, flat as a pancake on occasion. There is more than enough for the loyal legions, not enough for new converts.

“We’ve never, ever taken you for granted,” said Dame Berwick at the finale, both grateful and hopeful of a return. After all, this Kaler – and his goose – on the loose is not the oldest dame in town this Christmas.

A certain Sir Ian McKellen’s Caroline Goose, aged 83, is in residence in Mother Goose at the Duke of York’s, London, from tonight (15/12/2022) until January 29, then on tour until April 1.

“Hope you will return,” they sing: The walkdown finale in golden costumes with Berwick Kaler’s Mrs Plum Duff orchestrating the closing song