More Things To Do in York and beyond as panto time arrives and Christmas shows abound. Hutch’s List No. 50, from The Press

Me babbies, me bairns, me Berwick: Berwick Kaler’s dame, Dotty Dullaly, in Robinson Crusoe & The Pirates Of The River Ouse, his third Grand Opera House pantomime. Picture: Charlie Kirkpatrick

‘TIS the season for pantomime as three start at the same time amid a glut of Christmas shows, from kitchen disco to classic rock, as Charles Hutchinson reports.  

York pantomimes at the treble: Rowntree Players in Cinderella, Joseph Rowntree Theatre, York, today until next Saturday, except Monday; Jack And The Beanstalk, York Theatre Royal, until January 7 2024; Robinson Crusoe & The Pirates Of The River Ouse, Grand Opera House, tonight until January 6

ROWNTREE Players “rollicking pantomime” director Howard Ella is joined in the writing team for the first time by comic Gemma McDonald, who will be playing Buttons alongside Sara Howlett’s Cinderella, Laura Castle’s Fairy Flo and the baddie trio of Marie-Louise Surgenor’s Wicked Queen, York ghost walk host Jamie McKeller’s Cassandra and Michael Cornell’s Miranda.

James Mackenzie’s Luke Backinanger and Nina Wadia’s Fairy Sugarsnap in Jack And The Beanstalk at York Theatre Royal

York Theatre Royal’s fourth collaboration with Evolution Productions goes green with Nina Wadia’s Fairy Sugarsnap and CBeebies’ James Mackenzie’s villainous Luke Backinanger joining returnee Robin Simpson’s Dame Trott, Anna Soden’s Dave the Cow, Mia Overfield’s Jack and Matthew Curnier’s very silly Billy in Jack And The Beanstalk.

Dowager dame Berwick Kaler tackles Robinson Crusoe for the first time in his 43rd York panto and third at the GOH. Jake Lindsay takes the title role alongside the Ouse crew’s regulars, Martin Barrass, David Leonard, Suzy Cooper and AJ Powell. Box office: josephrowntreetheatre.co.uk or 01904 501935 (last few tickets); yorktheatreroyal.co.uk or 01904 623568; atgtickets.com/york.

Matheea Ellerby: Shining as Sparkle in Pocklington Arts Centre’s The Elves And The Shoemaker Save Christmas

Debut of the week: The Elves And The Shoemaker Save Christmas, Pocklington Arts Centre, until December 16

WRITER Elizabeth Godber and director Jane Thornton are at the helm of Pocklington Arts Centre’s inaugural in-house production: the children’s story of Jingle, Sparkle and Daredevil Dave, who have gingerbread to cook, peas to find and shoes to make. But who gives the Elves their Christmas? Surely they too deserve a break? Dylan Allcock, Jade Farnill and professional debut-making Matheea Ellerby star. Show times and tickets: pocklingtonartscentre.co.uk.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Cooking up her hits with Christmas trimmings in her Kitchen Disco at York Barbican

Yuletide on the dancefloor: Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s Christmas Kitchen Disco, York Barbican, Sunday, 7.30pm

WHAT began as a lockdown online sensation from Sophie Ellis Bextor’s kitchen turned into her 2022 Kitchen Disco tour. Now she follows up Cooking Vinyl’s June release of her seventh studio album, Hana, with her Christmas Kitchen Disco tour for 2023. Hits from throughout her career will be combined with festive classics, served in her seasonal disco style. Tickets update: Sold out. Could be murder on the dancefloor to acquire one now. Box office for returns only: yorkbarbican.co.uk.

Mostly Autumn: Christmas classic rock at The Crescent

Homecoming for Christmas: Mostly Autumn Christmas Show!, The Crescent, York, Sunday, 8pm

BEFORE heading off to Belgium and the Netherlands next week, York classic rock band Mostly Autumn play a home-city Christmas show heavily influenced by 1970s’ progressive rock, trad folk and, increasingly, contemporary influences after 28 years together led by guitarist Bryan Josh.

Meanwhile, York folk-covers, busker rock’n’roll troupe Hyde Family Jam have sold out both Thursday and Friday’s Christmas Party gigs, but tickets are available for Tuesday’s 7.30pm double bill of folk trio The Magpies and York singer-songwriter Dan Webster. Box office: thecrescentyork.

Bootleg Beatles: Get back to York Barbican on Wednesday

Tribute show of the week: Bootleg Beatles, York Barbican, Wednesday, 7.30pm

PERFECT timing for the Bootleg Beatles to return to York this Christmas with their nostalgic whirlwind trip through the Fab Four Sixties, after the reissue of the ‘Red’ and ‘Blue’ compilations and especially the chart-topping renaissance of Now And Then.

And yes, that reactivated ghost of a John Lennon song will feature in a set combining the then and the now as Steve White’s Paul, Tyson Kelly’s John, Steve Hill’s George and Gordon Elsmore’s Ringo re-create the sound and look of each Beatles’ phase in fastidious detail, accompanied by a brass and string orchestra. Box office: yorkbarbican.co.uk.

A mouse on skis in A Townmouse Christmas at Fairfax House, York

Mouse in the house: A Townmouse Christmas, Fairfax House, Castlegate, York, until January 7, 10.30am to 4.30pm, last entry 4pm

FAIRFAX House’s 2022 festive exhibition, A Townmouse Christmas, returns this winter with double the magic and double the mice, causing even more mayhem and mischief amid the Georgian Christmas festivities.

Hundreds of merry mouse guests can be spotted swinging from the ceiling and bursting out of drawers as they play among the 18th century décor, festive foliage and displays of Georgian Christmas traditions. Tickets: fairfaxhouse.co.uk.

Hands up who’s coming to town: Santa Claus looks forward to York Stage’s Santa’s Sing-a-Long

Busiest company of the week: York Stage presents Santa’s Sing-a-Long, Wednesday to December 23; Festive Feast, December 15, 16, 19 to 22, 8pm, both at Theatre@41, Monkgate, York

JOIN Mr and Mrs Claus in their busy home as they prepare for the big day, entertaining children with 45 minutes of sing-a-longs, Christmas stories, interactive wonderment and Christmas songs aplenty. Santa has a Christmas book for every child to take away to read on Christmas Eve. Show times and tickets: tickets.41monkgate.co.uk.

At night, York Stage vocal talent, accompanied by Adam Tomlinson and his band, dishes up a Festive Feast of Christmas songs, ranging from the traditional to modern pop, plus lashings of musical theatre favourites.

On song will be Katie Melia, Jess Main, Tracey Rea, Matthew Clarke, Cyanne Unamba-Oparah, Carly Morton, Finn East, Jack Hooper, Hannah Shaw, Stuart Hutchinson and York Stage debutant Jess Parnell. Box office: tickets.41monkgate.co.uk.

Mike Paul-Smith: Musical director of Down For The Count at the Royal Hall, Harrogate

Christmas in full swing: Down For The Count, Swing Into Christmas, Royal Hall, Harrogate, December 16, 7.30pm

MIKE Paul-Smith trained as a doctor but is now principal conductor of London vintage orchestra Down For The Count, specialists in bringing jazz’s Swing Era back to life, in this case with a festive focus.

Paul-Smith and arranger Simon Joyner re-create the music of Nat King Cole, Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra and many more in a luscious 30-piece orchestral setting, evoking Capitol Studios recordings. Cue original arrangements of The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting) and It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas, alongside Let’s Face The Music And Dance and S’Wonderful. Box office: 01423 50211 or harrogatetheatre.co.uk.

Reopening of the week: Victorian Christmas at York Castle Museum, Eye of York, until January 7 2024

Story Craft Theatre’s Cassie Vallance and Jane Bruce with their Museum Mice at York Castle Museum

YORK Castle Museum’s Victorian Kirkgate street has reopened for a magical Yuletide experience full of activities and performances for all ages.

Highlights include Chris Cade’s Scrooge shows; a Victorian green-clad Father Christmas; carol singing on Sundays, and Janet Bruce and Cassie Vallance’s Story Craft Theatre bringing cute Museum Mice to life with puppets, games and family fun, followed by a craft activity on several weekdays. To book tickets: https://beta.yorkmuseumstrust.org.uk/york-castle-museum/admission-tickets

Dame Berwick ready to set sail on his first ever Robinson Crusoe pantomime crusade

Name that dame: Berwick Kaler will play Dotty Dullaly in his 43rd York pantomime. Picture: Charlie Kirkpatrick

BERWICK Kaler first performed in a York pantomime in 1977. Now he is 77.

“I feel fit,” says the grand dame, ahead of Robinson Crusoe & The Pirates Of The River Ouse setting sail on Saturday with the usual crew on board.  “When I get on stage, I don’t feel any different. I’ve just been doing the flying sequence, and they worry for me, but I was fine. I didn’t think twice about doing it. It felt the same as ever.

“Yes, I do see changes in my dame, but it’s only age.” Physically, however, Dame Berwick has shrunk from his prime panto fighting weight of 11 stone, thinner in the face and legs, wiry of frame, eyes as big as a spaniel’s, as he sits in Dressing Room One at the Grand Opera House for this lunchtime chat.

He breakfasts on porridge, smoked salmon and two poached eggs, but has not recovered any of the two and a half stone he lost in a year when his long-time partner, David Norton, died.

“The doctors have checked me over, and no-one can find anything wrong with me. It’s driving me mad,” says Dame Berwick, who had a double heart bypass operation six years and relies on “Gerry”, his pacemaker, to keep him ticking over.

Not only does he feel fit, but he feels Robinson Crusoe & The Pirates Of The River Ouse is fit too for its public bow this weekend – even if Daniel Defoe’s 1719 tale of adventure and survival is not the easiest fit for pantomime service.

“I’ve never done Robinson Crusoe before,” says writer-director Dame Berwick, who will be appearing in his 43rd year York panto. “It’s not a pantomime; it never has been! But now, yes, it is a pantomime, but I’ve had to mix a lot of ingredients into it because it’s essentially a one-man story – and Man Friday has had to go.

“What was I on to have made that decision to do it,” he asks himself. “But I do like picking at bones to make a show.”

Robinson Crusoe does have York links: born in the city in 1632 to a middle-class upbringing, he set out from here on his travels. That fact alone gave Dame Berwick the bones on which to flesh out his script. “I blame Martin Dodd for the title!” he says, referring to the managing director of UK Productions, producers of the Grand Opera House pantomime for a second year. “He suggested pirates for the show, and so we have the Pirates Of The River Ouse.”

Those pirates will be played by the dance ensemble, while Jake Lindsay, so often the butt of Kaler’s jesting in his gradual graduation from ensemble to character parts over the past decade, will take the title role. “Every year I tell him, ‘go and get another career’ and he never listens,” says Dame Berwick. “Anyway, it’s a while before you see him!”

As ever, Dame Berwick’s regular partners in pantomime are reassembling. “I’m playing Dotty Dullaly, and we’re getting very modernistic as she was married before, to Mr Crusoe. Robinson is her son,” he explains.

“She was going to go on a cruise with Mr Crusoe and Robinson, but at the last minute she was taken ill and it was the last time she saw them. Then she got married to Mr Dullaly, and they had two children: 18-year-old Suzy Cooper [Polly Dullaly] and 16-year-old Martin Barrass [Willy Dullaly]!

The Ouse crew’s regular front five: David Leonard, left, Martin Barrass, Suzy Cooper, Berwick Kaler and A J Powell. Picture: Charlie Kirkpatrick
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AJ Powell will be appearing in trademark Brummie mode as Luvverly Jubberly, while inveterate villain David Leonard will revel in the vainglorious name of Narcissus. “He has to come to York to acquire half an amulet before sailing to the Island of Destiny – it’s not called that in the book! – to extract the other half from around Robinson’s neck,” says Dame Berwick.

“You can’t do anything with the real story of Robinson Crusoe, so I’ve introduced magical elements, like a book of spells that Robinson is in control of. Since he was shipwrecked on the island, he’s been made into an idol, but Narcissus, whose mother was a good witch, who never wanted him to get his hands on that book, is determined to force Robinson into the Tomb of Destiny to retrieve it.”

Echoes of Aladdin’s Cave and the arch antagonist Abanazar in Aladdin, you ask. “There are hints of Aladdin, hints of Sinbad The Sailor, in there, but it’s not a copy of them. It’s my new twist on them,” he says.

After Dick Turpin Rides Again and The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose, Dame Berwick is enjoying creating his third Grand Opera House panto. “Why keep doing it? I don’t need to do it, and I’ve told my agent I don’t want do to TV, films and stage shows any more. I’ve done all that. Just panto,” he says.

“I’m not a writer but I have to say I quite like the process of writing. Would I miss panto? Yes. I’d just be sitting at home with the dogs watching rubbish TV, which would be bliss, but I prefer to be doing this.”

Familiarity breeds content that suits long-serving company and York Pantomime (Berwick Kaler) Appreciation Society devotees alike. “It’s the only pantomime where you can get away with in-jokes, as it’s the audience that laughs, not the actors, because they’ve been following us for so long,” says Dame Berwick.

“We are five performers who know each other inside out; we can talk on common ground; we know how to work together; I know what to write for them all, though it gets more difficult over the years! I could bring others into the cast but no, this is a staunchly loyal group that has served York so well, doing great deeds in the world of panto.”

The core team remains intact, but Dame Berwick has had to adapt to the age of cancel culture. “Up to the last couple of years I wrote with a sense of humour that we’d had since I can remember, where nothing was taken as an insult to anyone,” he says. “But lately, if anyone said, ‘oh that’s a bit naughty’, I’d have to say, ‘no, I wrote it in innocence’.

“The last two years I’ve learned that it’s a lot safer if we laugh at ourselves on stage, taking the mickey out of each other, but that does take away from a lot of things that worked before and that’s a shame. There still has to be a shock element to comedy.

“I’ve always found that people come away from our shows saying, ‘I didn’t expect your panto to be so different from all the others’. You still have to have ‘he’s behind you’ in there, but come on, let’s keep surprising people.”

Contemplating the future, Dame Berwick says: “I’m not going to announce my retirement. I’ll just go quietly, whenever. I’ve had my big send-off already [after 40 years at the Theatre Royal]

“When they announce the next Grand Opera House pantomime, it will either be with us or without us.”

Robinson Crusoe & The Pirates Of The River Ouse, Grand Opera House, York, December 9 to January 6 2024. Box office: atgtickets.com/york.

Copyright of The Press, York

Stockton Foresters receive the Barrass bounce of approval for murder mystery at Stockton on the Forest Village Hall

York pantomime comic stooge Martin Barrass, back row, second from right, meets the Stockton Foresters cast for Being Of Sound Mind at Stockton on the Forest Village Hall

STOCKTON Foresters Drama Group will perform Andrew Hull’s little-known gem, Being Of Sound Mind, from November 30 to December 2, much to the approval of York pantomime legend Martin Barrass.

Dame Berwick Kaler’s stalwart sidekick visited last week’s rehearsal of Hull’s murder mystery with all the twists of a corkscrew.

“The Foresters provide the highest standard of any amateur drama society I’ve ever known,” enthused Martin, ahead of the run at Stockton on the Forest Village Hall, near York. “Forget the telly. This is real live entertainment that will have you captivated from start to finish!”

Foresters’ chair Karen Ilsley responded: “Martin has been so supportive of our thriving company, encouraging our talented actors and crew, and letting us in on a few trade secrets! We are honoured to welcome him into our fold and look forward to a long and fruitful association.”

Jasmine Lingard, left, Stuart Leeming and Lynne Edwards in rehearsal for Stockton Foresters’ Being Of Sound Mind

Foresters’ newcomer Jasmine Lingard will play Penelope Asquith, who is eager to discover the truth as to why her late aunt haunts the Goodchild residence. Will the household survive the night to inherit Edward Goodchild’s fortune? Or are the inhabitants destined to succumb to supernatural forces?

Jasmine will have a further role as Eleanor, joined in director Louisa Littler’s cast by Stuart Leeming as Martin Bodmin; Martin Thorpe, as Marshall; Pete Keen, Stephen Asquith; Lynne Edwards, Rebecca Lockhart; Nicky Wild, Jane Brunt, and Russell Dowson, Shaun.

“I have hugely enjoyed working with the Foresters on this production,” said Louisa. “The cast are really responding to the challenge of creating a suspense-filled piece that will have our audience intrigued to the end.”

Stockton Foresters present Being Sound Of Mind from November 30 to December 2 at 7.30pm nightly. Doors open at 6.30pm. Stockton on the Forest Village Hall is on the Coastliner bus route and there will be plenty of accessible parking and a bar. Tickets are on sale at thelittleboxoffice.com/stocktonforesters or Stockton on the Forest Village Shop.

Did you know?

STOCKTON Foresters are teaming up with The Fox Inn for this production. £9 tickets include a voucher for ten per cent off a meal at the village pub in January and February 2024. Vouchers will be available at the village hall.

What will panto favourite Martin Barrass and co be doing this winter at the Grand Opera House?

Martin Barrass, centre with fellow Grand Opera House pantomime stars David Leonard, left, AJ Powell, Suzy Cooper and Dame Berwick Kaler

MARTIN Barrass will star alongside Dame Berwick Kaler, David Leonard, Suzy Cooper and A J Powell in the swashbuckling pantomime adventure Robinson Crusoe & The Pirates Of The River Ouse at the Grand Opera House, York, from December 9 to January 6 2024.

Today, by the way, is Berwick Kaler’s 77th birthday. This winter, Britain’s longest-serving dame will be starring in his 43rd pantomime and second for producers UK Productions.

Meanwhile, the dowager dame’s costume and boots are on display at the V&A Museum, Cromwell Road, London, taking pride of place in the Theatre and Performance galleries until at least February 2024.

Writer-director Dame Berwick will lead his groundbreaking take on Daniel Defoe’s 1719 story of the sailor from York who finds himself marooned on a desert island, but on this occasion, Crusoe will not be sailing solo. Expect the unexpected as the familiar gang assembles again from December 9. Box office: atgtickets.com/york.

Berwick Kaler’s costume, rudimentary wig, trademark yellow and red socks and boots on show at the V&A Museum, London

Berwick and panto crew will be all at sea in Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse at Grand Opera House

Five mates on the River Ouse: Grand Opera House pantomime stars David Leonard, left, Martin Barrass, Suzy Cooper, dame Berwick Kaler and AJ Powell. All pictures: Charlie Kirkpatrick

EVEN after five decades of pantomayhem, York dowager dame Berwick Kaler is still setting himself new challenges at 76.

“I’ve never done a Robinson Crusoe pantomime, and now I’m discovering why!” jokes the writer and director of…Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse, his third pantomime for the Grand Opera House following his crosstown transfer after 41 years at York Theatre Royal.

Dame Berwick and his regular crew launched this winter’s sea-faring adventure at the Cumberland Street theatre at Wednesday’s press day, where perennial sidekick Martin Barrass, villainous David Leonard, golden principal gal Suzy Cooper and luvverly Brummie AJ Powell completed York pantoland’s infamous five once more.

Why tackle Robinson Crusoe now, Berwick? “I’m blaming Martin Dodd,” he says, attributing his 2023 choice of pantomime to the managing director of UK Productions, producers of the Grand Opera pantomime for a second year.

“Sometimes, when you think, ‘why’s he doing that?’, it turns out to be a brilliant show,” says Berwick Kaler as he prepares to turn Robinson Crusoe into a pantomime for the first time

“He caught me off-guard, which made me say ‘I’d like to do something a bit different this year’, and somehow that became Robinson Crusoe! But I’ve no regrets about taking it on. It’s a challenge, and fortunately I’m still up for it.”

Dig deeper and another reason emerges for Berwick’s panto pick. As with Dick Turpin, whose life ended in a flash white suit and a noose around his neck on the Tyburn gallows on April 7 1739, Robinson Crusoe has his York connections. Turpin and his horse Black Bess have twice stood and delivered in a Kaler pantomime, most recently in his Grand Opera House debut, Dick Turpin Rides Again, in 2021.

As for Robinson Crusoe, the lead character in Daniel Defoe’s 1719 tale of adventure and survival was born in York in 1632 to a middle-class upbringing. The son of a German immigrant, his surname Crusoe is an anglicised version of Kreutznaer, an amalgam of his parents’ surnames.

That much we know, but as for the rest of Crusoe’s York story, the cupboard is bare, says Berwick. “We only know that Robinson Crusoe was shipwrecked, not how his story began [in York] or how he got to the island,” he notes.

Who will panto villain David Leonard be playing in Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse? How the devil should he know!

Cue Kaler coming up with his nod to Johnny Depp’s swashbuckling Caribbean capers in his title, Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse, for the story of “the sailor from York who finds himself marooned on a desert island…but he’s not alone”.

Who will be these “Pirates of the River Ouse”? Wait and see, but just as Berwick’s 2011 Theatre Royal pantomime, The York Family Robinson, bore little relation to its 19th century source material, Swiss army chaplain Johann David Wyss’s The Swiss Family Robinson, so Berwick will find a framework for his partners in panto in a nautical setting.

For research, “I’ve re-read the story, and when I was going through some old VHS tapes I was throwing out, I found the old Peter O’Toole film, which I’ve now watched,” he says.

Have crew members David, Suzy, Martin and AJ ever read Defoe’s story? “No, but I remember the TV series,” says David. “No, but I remember the TV series,” says Martin, breaking into the theme tune. “And I know Crusoe set off from Hull [Martin’s home city].”

“We have an identity as ‘the crazy gang’,” says Suzy Cooper

“I’m the only one with a character name so far,” says AJ. “I’ll be playing Luvverly Jubberly, which I only found out from Berwick just before the press launch.” And no, he has never had Robinson Crusoe on his bookshelf.

You can imagine David Leonard’s villain in swaggering piratical garb in the Adam Ant meets Captain Hook style, but who might that character be? “I haven’t the faintest idea who the baddie is,” he admits, still in the dark about his latest venture to the dark side.

“I don’t yet know who I’ll be playing, but I don’t think I’m playing the fairy,” says Suzy, another member of the non-Robinson Crusoe reading club.

“What’s important, even more so now, is that we are family – performers and audience – and people want to celebrate that. We make those connections each year; they make them with us and with each other and that’s why Berwick’s pantomime works.”

“People will say to us, ‘we’ve booked for such and such a night’, and then they’ll say, ‘by the way, what’s the title?’,” says Martin Barrass

Berwick and co are enjoying the partnership with UK Productions. “They let us get on with it,” says Suzy. “They found that it worked last year [The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose) and they’re happy to let us do that again, saying that they’d never seen a pantomime like ours!

“They know that we have an identity as ‘the crazy gang’. What they get when they get us is they’re buying into the history of who we are and what kind of pantomime we do.”

Berwick chips in: “They’re not used to someone ad-libbing, even at rehearsals, but what I’m doing is always trying to find a better line.”

Suzy rejoins: “It must be a very tough job for whoever is on the book each performance, because the cue will come, but they really have to listen because the dialogue will change every day!”

AJ Powell: Definitely playing Luvverly Jubberly in Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse

The same applies for the signer doing the sign language, prompting Martin to recall: “When I was dressed as a seal one year, standing next to the signer, I remember saying, ‘oh, signed and sealed’!”

Also confirmed for the cast is the returning Jake Lindsay, along with Henry Rhodes, who once appeared as a bairn in a Kaler panto at the Theatre Royal and has been starring in the musical Newsies this year.

AJ Powell, by the way, has been filming for the latest series of Father Brown, “doing a bit of ballroom dancing,” as he puts it.

Come rehearsal time in November, Robinson Crusoe and those pirates will be heading for ship shape and York fashion. “Berwick hates the constraints of traditional pantomime and he’s in his element when he’s creating,” says Suzy.

Shipwrecked! Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse pantomime stars David Leonard, left, AJ Powell, Martin Barrass, Suzy Cooper and dame Berwick Kaler land on the Grand Opera House stage at Wednesday afternoon’s launch in York

“He does like to use these random titles,” says AJ, recalling 2016’s Dick Whittington And His Meerkat, for example.

“Sometimes, when you think, ‘why’s he doing that?’, it turns out to be a brilliant show,” says Berwick, as he adds Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse to that list. 

“We often find people don’t care what the show title is; they just want to come and see us as they always have,” says Martin.

“People will say to us, ‘we’ve booked for such and such a night’, and then they’ll say, ‘by the way, what’s the title?’.”

Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse will run at Grand Opera House, York, from December 9 to January 6 2023; tickets are on sale at atgtickets.com/York.

Launch date: Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates Of The River Ouse panto stars Martin Barrass, left, Berwick Kaler, Suzy Cooper, David Leonard and AJ Powell announce their return by the Grand Opera House stage door

REVIEW: Kevin Clifton’s ‘dream role’ in Baz Luhrmann’s Strictly Ballroom The Musical, at Grand Opera House, York ****

Kevin Clifton’s Scott Hastings and Faye Brookes’s Fran in Baz Luhrmann’s Strictly Ballroom The Musical

Baz Luhrmann’s Strictly Ballroom The Musical plays Grand Opera House, York, until Saturday, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm, Wednesday and Saturday. Box office: atgtickets.com/york. Also Leeds Grand Theatre, July 3 to 8, 7.30pm and 2.30pm Wednesday and Saturday matinees. Box office: 0113 243 0808 or leedsheritagetheatres.com.

NOT to be confused with the glitterball dazzle of the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing, the 2023 tour of Baz Luhrmann’s Strictly Ballroom nevertheless has Strictly royalty at its core, like writing running through a stick of rock.

Australian-born judge Craig Revel Horwood both directs Luhrmann and Craig Pearce’s musical and reactivates his Aussie roots for the voiceover introduction, delivered with camp exaggeration and frank humour.

2018 Strictly champ Kevin Clifton is “thrilled to finally be fulfilling a lifelong ambition to play Scott Hastings”, donning the golden matador-dandy jacket for the ten-month tour.

“When I was ten years old, I first watched the movie that would become my favourite film of all time. This is my dream role,” he enthused – and boy, does it show in his every move, back leading the cast after missing a couple of shows with a foot injury.

We knew he could dance, not only from his seven seasons in Strictly, but when blazing a trail across the Grand Opera House stage in Burn The Floor. Should you have seen him in Dirty Dancing The Musical in London, or on tour as Cosmo Brown in Singin’ In The Rain, Stacee Jaxx in Rock Of Ages or The Artillery Man in The War Of The Worlds, you will know he can sing too.

Now comes a corking Aussie accent as Kevin from Grimsby becomes Scott Hastings, the ballroom wild card from a dance family (like Clifton himself), who falls foul of the Australian Federation with his radical, rebellious moves.

The Open champion-in-waiting instead finds himself dancing with Fran (Faye Brookes, so pink and perky and perfect in her previous York visit in Legally Blonde The Musical). At the outset, Fran is handier with the cleaning regime than as a Bambi novice on the dancefloor, but she is plucky beneath the reserved, bespectacled surface, and step by step, the unlikely pair inspire each other to defy both family expectation and ballroom convention, casting specs and fear alike aside.

Set in 1990, Luhrmann’s funny yet furious, glitzy but gritty, sometimes silly and often highly camp work is a gorgeous romantic comedy, Cinderella tale and rebel with a cause story rolled into a dance drama of the kind beloved by  Bollywood. In Revel Horwood’s hands it revels in that campery, being fruitier than Drew McOnie’s 2016 British premiere at the West Yorkshire Playhouse, putting you as much in mind of The Rocky Horror Show or Rock Of Ages.

Clifton’s Scott is on the edge, his dancing so electric, to the point where if you touched him you would receive a shock, such is his frustration with the strictures of his obsessive mother Shirley (Nikki Belsher).

A grotesque diva of a ballroom teacher with a shark’s smile, her ruthlessness has shrunk husband Doug (a rather too young-looking James McHugh on press night, understudying Mark Sangster) to taciturn timidity.

Amid the battle of Hastings, rule-breaker Scott is also determined to defy the bent judging of Barry Fife (Benjamin Harrold, understudying Gary Davis as more of a reprobate young spiv than a seedy old stickler).

Scott must follow his heart, answer to his true calling and find true love. Out of the shadows steps Coronation Street star and Dancing On Ice runner-up Brookes’s Fran in a typically terrific demonstration of her triple threat skills as singer, dancer and actor. Her duet of Beautiful Surprise with Clifton is a second-half high point.

Shirley and Barry are not their only barriers, so too are Danielle Cato’s aptly named dancer Tina Sparkle and, at first, Fran’s protective Hispanic dad, Rico (Stylianos Thomadakis, the best of the first-night understudies, again for an older-looking Jose Agudo).

From disdain to guiding light, he shows Scott how the paso doble should be danced, leading into a wonderful, pedal-to-the-floor ensemble finale to the first half. This turns into the show’s best routine, shot through with machismo but leavened by humour and ultimately glee, under the spell of Revel Horwood and Jason Gilkison’s witty, swish, elegant, sleek and fun choreography.

As with fellow very Australian musical movie The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert, Strictly Ballroom is rampantly ripe to bear full fruit on the musical theatre stage.

It does so by bolstering the film’s hit songs, such as Time After Time, a swoon of an Hispanic take on Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps by Karen Mann’s Abuela, and the climactic Love Is In The Air, with new musical numbers by David Foster, Sia Furler, Mozzela Neff-U, Linda Thompson and Luhrmann himself.

Mark Walters, best remembered in York for his set on the tracks for Berwick Kaler’s Dick Whittington (And His Meerkat) at the National Railway Museum in 2015, excels here too, both in set design and costumes.

Beautifully lit by fellow York Theatre Royal alumnus Richard G Jones, the domed set evokes the glamour of the ballroom dancefloor, while the clever insertion of boards that pull out enables swift changes of scene to bars, homes and a dance studio.

Barry Fife’s boudoir cameos are an amusing pop-up too and a screen backdrop is put to good use in depicting Australian skies, townscapes and landscapes.

In a week shadowed by the death of Australia’s greatest comic export, Barry Humphries, whose The Man Behind The Mask tour opened at this very theatre last April, Luhrmann and Revel Horwood combine to put an Aussie smile on the face once more with razzle dazzle aplenty, aided by Clifton and Brookes, as lovable as Fred and Ginger.

Dame Berwick and his crew all at sea as they launch Robinson Crusoe piratical pantomime for Grand Opera House

Messing about on the river: Dame Berwick Kaler, AJ Powell and David Leonard spot an incoming Grand Opera House pantomime. Picture: Charlie Kirkpatrick

AT 76, York’s grand dame of pantomime, Berwick Kaler, is never too old to try something new.

After 41 years in his big boots and misbehaving wig at York Theatre Royal and now newly confirmed for a third season following his crosstown transfer to the Grand Opera House, he will write, direct and star in Robinson Crusoe for the first time.

Or, to give this “swashbuckling panto adventure” its full title with a nod to a certain Johnny Depp film franchise, Robinson Crusoe & The Pirates Of The River Ouse will be afloat from December 9 to January 9 2024.

Martin Dodd, pantomime producer for UK Productions’ second year at the Cumberland Street theatre, says: “Following last year’s success with The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose, we are delighted to return with another legendary Berwick Kaler pantomime in York. Ahoy me hearties…grab your tickets quick!”

Those tickets – £13 and upwards – will go on sale to ATG TheatreCard and Groups Presale today (March 23) from 10am and on general sale from tomorrow (March 24) at 10am in person at the box office or at atgtickets.com/york.

Dame Berwick and fellow piratical panto hearties David Leonard and AJ Powell launched Robin Crusoe in suitable costume in the Tuesday morning rain aboard a City Cruises self-drive boat, steered by comic sidekick Martin Barrass, making an impromptu appearance in his civvies.

Only regular co-star Suzy Cooper was not on board, but she too has been confirmed as part of the crew for the famous-in-York five’s winter return.

Laura McMillan, theatre director for the Grand Opera House York, says: “We are delighted to welcome Berwick and the wider family back this year for what will certainly be a swashbuckling family adventure. The Berwick panto is a York tradition, and we can’t wait to welcome audiences to the theatre.”

What can they expect? Dame Berwick as writer? Tick. Director? Tick. Dowager dame? Tick. The dame’s name and role? How she fits in? Er, nothing decided yet, although any variation of “Mrs Crusoe” is the odds-on favourite.

“But there definitely won’t be a Man Friday,” he says of the slave character from Daniel Defoe’s 1719 seafaring tale, The Life And Strange Surprizing Adventures Of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner.

“You’ve got to get round that. I’m not ‘woke’, but for 50-odd years we’ve never insulted anybody. If we like to take the mick, we take it out of ourselves, but when you get to adapt fairy tales – or a novel, like this one – there’s a lot you have to change.”

What is promised, to quote the Grand Opera House press release, is an “hilarious take on the classic story of the sailor from York who finds himself marooned on a desert island, but he’s not alone”. Expect a “captivating tale of magic, mayhem and misunderstanding”…and mystery at this stage, because Dame Berwick’s panto is among the very first in the UK Productions stable to be announced for 2023/24.

Martin Barrass takes the wheel on the City Cruises self-drive boat as fellow Grand Opera House pantomime stars Berwick Kaler, AJ Powell and David Leonard launch Robinson Crusoe And The Pirates On The Ouse. Picture: Charlie Kirkpatrick

“Man Friday isn’t necessary to the story, and I’m used to changing things anyway. I’ve always done that in my pantomimes, changing names, or the plot, to give it some spontaneity, to make it something different.

“The problem for pantomime is that if you make it ‘woke’, it just won’t be funny, I promise you.”

The challenge is to make it work, not make it woke. “To do that, it’s about playing to the strengths of the cast, how they play their characters each year. I still have my imagination and it’s a young imagination for my age, and that’s vital for panto,” says Dame Berwick.

“We love to make it a little different, but at the same time, I don’t think anyone would go away from having ‘He’s behind you!’ in there, but we even change that a bit.”

In the first instalment of Defoe’s nautical trilogy, Robinson Crusoe introduces himself thus: “I was born in the year 1632, in the city of York, of a good family, tho’ not of that country, my father being a foreigner of Bremen, who settled first at Hull.”

Defoe’s  hero does not stay long in York, however, the call of the sea soon luring him to his shipwrecked fate. “In my story, I have to decide how far does he get up the Ouse before he meets the pirates,” says Dame Berwick.  What about Hull, the book’s starting  point. “No, not in our panto!”

Kaler’s pantomimes are no stranger to taking to the waters, whether in Dick Whittington or 2011’s The York Family Robinson or indeed the many bygone years of water slapstick for Dame Berwick and Barrass.

Will water slapstick or aquatic mishaps make a Kaler panto comeback? “You’ll be the first to know,” says Dame Berwick. “I’ve got to get water into it somehow, so I think you will see water, but I’m governed by the commercial pantomime producers and the space.

“To do a proper water scene, you do need the whole of the floor to be covered.  At the minute, I’m trying to get them to do something new and hopefully get a rocking cabin on the stage.”

Perennial panto villain David Leonard was dressed in a rather dandy wig for the City Cruises launch. “It’s a pirate theme, so they thought, ‘let’s have me looking like Captain Hook, AJ like Smee and Berwick as…well, looking like a ‘Mona Washboard’,” he says of that familiar harassed washer woman look.

As for his role, details are sketchy because Kaler will be writing “from scratch”. “He’ll be someone tall, a 6ft 3 ponce in a wig,” David speculates. “And evil,” says dame Berwick. “Oh yes, very evil.”

“Luvverly Brummie” AJ Powell has set his sets high. “I’m hoping for the title role this year. Robinson Crusoe,” he says. “But he never appears. He’s only spoken of,” jests David. “A bit like Berwick’s Mrs Fitzackerley, always mentioned but never seen!”

Tom Bird bids farewell to York Theatre Royal after 5 years of momentous change

Tom Bird: Goodbye York Theatre Royal, hello Sheffield Theatres. Picture: Esme Mai

CHIEF executive Tom Bird is leaving York Theatre Royal after five years on February 3 to take up the equivalent post at Sheffield Theatres, England’s largest producing theatre complex outside London.

Head hunted for a post he “just couldn’t turn down”, he will migrate southwards to replace Dan Bates, who exited Sheffield last year after 13 years to become executive director of Bradford’s UK City of Culture 2025 programme.

From February 6, North Easterner (and Newcastle United fan) Tom he will be in charge of the South Yorkshire trio of Sheffield’s Crucible, Lyceum and Tanya Moiseiwitsch Playhouse (formerly the Studio), working closely with artistic director Robert Hastie and interim chief exec Bookey Oshin, who will stay on as deputy CEO, and the senior team.

He leaves behind a York Theatre Royal where he has overseen an emphasis on community productions and the showcasing of York talent; the departure of innovative artistic director Damian Cruden after 22 years and Britain’s longest-running pantomime dame, Berwick Kaler, after 41; the promotion of Juliet Forster to creative director with a programming team, and new partnerships with Emma Rice’s Wise Children company (and in turn the National Theatre) and Evolution Productions for the pantomime’s new chapter.

Such change could be planned, but then there was Covid, a shadow cast from March 2020, one that not only shut down the theatre in lockdown but led to redundancies and later the loss of £250,000 takings in a flash when the Christmas and New Year week of Cinderella last winter fell foul to a glut of positive tests.

York Theatre Royal chief executive Tom Bird, centre, with creative director Juliet Forster and Evolution Productions director and pantomime writer Paul Hendy

“We were on to our fourth Cinderella by then,” recalls Tom. “It was impossible to continue. It couldn’t have happened in a worse week. Losing those performances was awful, even though we  got going again for the last performances.”

Twelve months on, Tom bids farewell with the Theatre Royal in a healthy position. “There’s money in the bank; there’s a great team working here; the pantomime is reinvigorated; the programming is good; there are excellent partnerships in place. I’m really proud of everything we’ve done,” he says.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a mission as such as I guess I wanted to learn that mission as I went along, and I certainly think the Theatre Royal is in a strong position. The relationship with Arts Council England is so important, and to still be on the NPO scheme [for National Portfolio funding for £1.8 million for 2023-2026) is so important.

“If I have one regret – and I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to run Sheffield – it is that it would have been nice to now have had two or three ‘normal’ years at York Theatre Royal as it’s such a wonderful place.”

Looking back on becoming the Theatre Royal’s executive director at 34 – he would later change the title to chief executive – after he and his family moved to York in December 2017, Tom says: “It was a massive change because my unofficial title at the Globe [Shakespeare’s Globe in London] was ‘Mr International’, producing a tour of Hamlet to 189 countries, but my personal circumstances had changed already.

A scene from The Coppergate Woman, York Theatre Royal’s 2022 community play. Picture: Jane Hobson

“We’d moved out to Kent; I’d been working as executive producer nationally and internationally, and though there was a lot of gloom about regional theatre at the time, I just thought, I’d love to get back north, to run a theatre.

“We’d co-produced plays to York, and there’s just something about the Theatre Royal, the building; the gorgeous auditorium.”

Nevertheless, Tom admits he was in for a surprise. “At first I thought, if you just transplanted London theatre here, it would work, but that was not the case,” he says. “York is a city of inequality, not the city that you would expect, and therefore not the theatre you would expect. You need to offer a cultural menu that caters for everyone. You have to fully fit in with the needs of the community, which is an exciting thing to do.

“After Damian left (in summer 2019), we wanted to make sure that we would be programming in a more collaborative way than we’d done before.  I think there’s since been the same amount of co-producing of shows, but we also said we wanted to do ‘very Yorkshire’ productions, like The Coppergate Woman community play and David Reed’s world premiere of Guy Fawkes last autumn.

“We’ve created the programming team, led by Juliet Forster, with associate director John R Wilkinson and resident artists, that naturally produces a wide range of voices and makes sure everything is rigorously tested as to what we will put on that stage and why.”

Wise Children’s co-production of Wuthering Heights with the National Theatre and York Theatre Royal

Community theatre is crucial, Tom says: “It’s what audiences want. It’s absolutely what people in the community say they want to see. The audiences for our community plays are phenomenal. July’s production of CJ Sansom’s Sovereign is already on track to sell out. York wants theatre shows that tell stories of the city and we’ve always tried to do that in an experimental way, which leads to us taking risks.”

For all the weight of its history, York needs to be averse to standing still. “The city has to make sure it’s always being dynamic in its culture and outlook, otherwise it will take on the profile of being frozen in aspic,” warns Tom.

“That’s why we did a hippy-trippy, Covid-influenced Viking story [The Coppergate Woman] and a dark comedy version of Guy Fawkes that people didn’t expect. You have to be ambitious and surprising. That’s a word we use all the time: the reward for York audiences is to be pleasantly surprised.”

As for the changing of the old guard in the pantomime, Tom says: “I’m conscious that it’s what I’ll be remembered for here, which is a shame. Bringing down the curtain on something is not what I want to be remembered for, but, to an extent, whoever had my job at the time, was going to have to deal with it in some way.

“Maybe someone else would have taken a different route, or taken it earlier, but I worked on three of Berwick’s pantomimes, so it wasn’t as though I didn’t know what I was dealing with, but there was an issue coming down the road in ten to 15 years’ time , maybe earlier: family audiences were not coming to the panto in2017-2018, so what was going to happen in future years?

“I’d grown an affinity with the company in those three years, as everyone does; you realise the exceptional quality of performers like David Leonard, but in all conscience, I could not responsibly leave the situation as it was.

Berwick Kaler playing Molly Motley in his last York Theatre Royal pantomime, The Grand Old Dame Of York, in 2018-2019. He co-directed and wrote the next year’s show, Sleeping Beauty, his last involvement with the Theatre Royal panto after 41 years

“I got a lot of public criticism – and a lot of private criticism too – and really there was a lack of understanding of what I was trying to achieve in making the change, which may have been my fault as I could have it explained it earlier, but everything I said at the time still stands.

“The audiences were declining and there was no obvious way of turning it around with that product still in place, and I would say that the decision to go into a partnership with Evolution Productions has been proved to be the right one.

“The new pantomime is still growing and we know there’s still work to do, but we’re really happy with how it’s going.”

After such highlights as The Travelling Pantomime’s socially distanced performances to York neighbourhoods in the first winter of Covid, the Love Bites and Green Shoots showcases for York professional theatre-makers, the Wise Children/National Theatre/York Theatre Royal co-production of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights, and Tom’s groundwork for Kyiv City Ballet’s first ever British visit in June, he moves to Sheffield in the year he turns 40.

In the words of Lord Kerslake, chair of Sheffield Theatres Trust board: “We have appointed a driven, experienced and creative leader who will help shape the next chapter of this world-class organisation.”

Just as Tom Bird has shaped York Theatre Royal’s future too.

Dame Berwick’s panto, The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose, is on the home straight

Berwick Kaler’s dame, Mrs Plum-Duff, in The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose. Picture: David Harrison

DAME Berwick Kaler, David Leonard, Martin Barrass, Suzy Cooper and AJ Powell are into the final week of their second pantomime at the Grand Opera House, York.

The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose ends on Sunday in Berwick’s first variation on a Mother Goose theme since his Millennium pantomime, Old Mother Millie, at York Theatre Royal.

“That one gave me a panic attack,” he admitted. “There was no story, and it wasn’t based on a fairytale. To my surprise, we ended up being the only theatre doing a millennium-based panto!”

No such palpitations this time: Berwick completed his script by 6am on December 1, giving the writer, director and dowager dame plenty of rehearsal time to hone it with his regular team.

“It will either work or it won’t, but I still feel as fit as a fiddle, though I can’t jump through any more windows, but we make sure routines are properly done,” he said that day.

“I’m ageing up for the part,” joked Berwick, 76, as the Old Mother turned into the Old Granny. “I just think we can have a lot of fun with the audience about getting older. They know my age, Martin and Suzy’s age, playing my son and daughter, so each year I make them younger,” he says.

Surrounded by familiar faces, Berwick does have one new factor this year: the role of UK Productions as the Grand Opera House panto producers for the first time. “They’re the second largest panto company in the country, and they do know the history of our pantomime,” he says.

No Covid restrictions, no masks, means Berwick can revel in interaction with the audience once more. “Last year, we could only hear the laughter, not see the smiles,” he said. “But this year, I can go down the steps from the stage, get out to the audience, and I’m only interested in doing the show if I can still do that because there has to be ad-libbing.”

The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose runs at Grand Opera House, York, until Sunday. Performances: 2pm and 7pm, Thursday, Friday and Saturday; 1pm and 7pm, Sunday. Box office: atgtickets.com/York

REVIEW: Dame Berwick Kaler in The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose, Grand Opera House, York, until January 8 2023 ***

Flagging, but not flagging: York pantomime dowager dame Berwick Kaler in regal attire for The Lambton Worm song sheet, from County Durham, at the Grand Opera House. All pictures: David Harrison

THIS is as much The Misadventures Of Old Granny Goose as The Adventures of the aforesaid ageing old bird.

Berwick Kaler and his ex-York Theatre Royal gang are back together, re-grouping like The Rolling Stones or the Friends cronies to recall the old hits – Berwick and a dummy, Berwick flying (twice), Berwick and a pool with powers that take years off his dame and, above all, Berwick going off-piste, off script – for the faithful.

Those moments, at liberty to ad-lib, are the ‘misadventures’, the ones that most delight, Berwick wandering off to the stage apron to take in the audience with mischief in his eyes, Berwick apologetically and rough-handedly correcting his misplaced stage spot, Berwick making a political jibe, Berwick winding up his fellow regulars and teasing his ensemble newbies.

What’s fresh this year? The Grand Opera House, the comeback dame’s adopted panto home for a second year, has undergone a refurbishment, new seating et al; the panto has new producers, UK Productions, overseeing costumes (an upgrade on last year), set design (standard panto scenery, smart, proficient, no York detailing) and lighting (hi-tech with a dash of pop-concert glitz).

Unspeakable dummy: Berwick Kaler’s Mrs Plum Duff and Martin Barrass’s Jessie try to work a truculent Boris Johnson in the ventriloquism scene in The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose

What else? Lovely fairy lights adorning the proscenium arch; a welcome revamp of the stock ghost scene with beds disappearing and reappearing and a host of ghosts; puppy-keen Jake Lindsay’s upgrade to a more prominent role as Jakey Lad, still the butt of Berwick’s putdowns after a decade in the ranks.

And what’s more? The three lads in the dance ensemble (Spencer Hardy, Elliot OJ Hutchinson and dance captain Samuel Lithco) aping Matthew Bourne’s all-male chorus in a brief burst of Swan Lake,  plus ensemble debuts for Leeds-trained Lucy Churchill and Niamh Hendron, and a new intake of children from York Stage School for babbies’ sweetness in ensemble scenes.

What’s old this year? The Grand Dame, of course, sending himself/herself up at 76, aware that unlike his character, Mrs Plum Duff, the Granny Goose of the title, he cannot turn back panto-time by taking a magical pool dip. 

Instead, the drama-queen dame mock-collapses at the end of big number Barmy Girl in mock-exhaustion, play acting as he demands to be helped up. He adamantly says he can’t deliver his lines any faster when urged to do so and deliberately turns his balletic flight landing into an inelegant tumble.

Old Mother Goose steps: David Leonard’s Lucifer Nauseus, centre, AJ Powell’s Brum Stoker, left, and Suzy Cooper’s Cissy, second from right, in a song-and-dance routine with ensemble Villagers

What’s the (lack of!) plot this year? Well, no, Berwick hasn’t lost the plot, but it’s brief. Or, correction, devilish David Leonard’s dandy villain, the goose-fearing Lucifer Nauseus, says it is. He has to find a fairy. That’s it. The plot.

Well, like on an allotment, there’s plot aplenty, or at least by writer-director Berwick’s infamous plot-resistant standards, there is. But yes, in essence, the villain must find a fairy to do his evil bidding for him. Oh, and the dame has to be under the misconception that the Goose is a dog.

What ticks over this year? Kirsty Sparks’s choreography; Rob Thorne’s band, and especially Berwick’s double act with comic fall guy Martin Barrass (dippy son Jessie Plum Duff), partner in the ghost scene, The Lambton Worm song sheet, and rocking-chair ventriloquism routine with Boris Johnson as the dummy.

That Tory old boy scene defines the dip in madcap mayhem since peak Kaler years, being laboured (not Laboured, unlike this pun), where it needs to make more of Johnson’s blustering vocal schtick and boot him with sharper barbs about his mendacious character.

Old Granny ghost: Jake Lindsay and a friendly ghost at play

What works best this year? No surprises. Leonard’s fab-u-lous vainglorious villainy, with his devil’s swishing tail that turns into a phone, his stage-vamping swagger, that Shakespearean lead thespian voice and his comic timing. Everything done with aplomb amid the Plum Duffs. 

His rendition of Lou Reed’s Perfect Day with first Suzy Cooper, then AJ Powell, is the show’s comic high point, anything but a perfect day, but witty and physically funny too.

What about Cooper and Powell this year? On good form, principal gal Suzy doubling up as both a classic Fairy and plummy Cissy Plum Duff, who is all doe-eyed over Powell’s would-be novelist, Brum Stoker (the pick of Kaler’s cast names for 2022).  

What’s missing this year? The film; the water splosh scene; old-school physical slapstick; topical references (save for yesterday’s men, Johnson and Matt Hancock), and an animal costume for Barrass.

Helping hands: A play-acting Berwick Kaler’s no longer super-annuated Mrs Plum Duff needs a lift from Elliot OJ Hutchinson’s Villager, left, and Jake Lindsay’s Jakey Lad after the dame’s big musical number

What replaces them? The jousting banter between the familiar players; the greater emphasis on song and dance (Leonard going from one song immediately into another); the comforting constant sense of nostalgia for Dame Berwick devotees.

The Adventures Of Old Granny Goose does not lay a golden egg of cracking comedy but is more of a curate’s egg, sunny side up at times, flat as a pancake on occasion. There is more than enough for the loyal legions, not enough for new converts.

“We’ve never, ever taken you for granted,” said Dame Berwick at the finale, both grateful and hopeful of a return. After all, this Kaler – and his goose – on the loose is not the oldest dame in town this Christmas.

A certain Sir Ian McKellen’s Caroline Goose, aged 83, is in residence in Mother Goose at the Duke of York’s, London, from tonight (15/12/2022) until January 29, then on tour until April 1.

“Hope you will return,” they sing: The walkdown finale in golden costumes with Berwick Kaler’s Mrs Plum Duff orchestrating the closing song