Annabel van Griethuysen’s hostess Marlene Cabana vamping it up in York Light Opera Company’s Eurobeat: Pride Of Europe. All pictures: Matthew Kitchen Photography
EUROBEAT is essentially Eurovision by another name, and if you love the campery, pageantry and “political” shenanigans of Eurovision, then you will love Eurobeat.
Presented in York its third iteration (after 2008’s Eurobeat…Almost European and 2016’s Eurobeat Moldova), this affectionate send-up is the work of Aussie composer, writer and lyricist Craig Christie, a Eurovision devotee whose love of the annual song contest pre-dates Australia’s inclusion since 2015’s special guest appearance.
Should you still be wondering why the faraway land of Oz is involved, apparently Aussies have a long-standing affection for Eurovision and the nation is a member of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU).
Emma Swainston’s Astrid Lungstomberg waving the flag for Swedish entry Semaphore Of Love
Christie updates his show with each re-telling, tongue pushed further into cheek, politically and culturally savvy to the world’s woes, and steeped in Eurovision’s tropes, gauche jokes and awkward silences, while keeping the distance of a mischievous onlooker.
In the words of York Light director Neil Wood, “it’s fun”. “It ends up as more of an event, though it’s still a theatre show, and from the audience point of view, it’s a blast!” he says. “If you want to come in costume, you’re more than welcome to do so. We’ll have slash curtains, glitter and haze, everything you’d expect from Eurovision, but without the big budget.”
No-one took up the costume invitation at Wednesday’s press night: auditorium conditions were too hot and airless for that, but a Portuguese flag was waved enthusiastically from the front row, probably doubling as a cooling fan too.
Zander Fick’s punctilious martinet, Master of Protocols “Boring” Bjorn Bjornson, in Eurobeat: Pride Of Europe
Welcome to Lichtenstein, hosts apparently by default of Eurobeat 2025. Up on the mezzanine level are Joy Warner’s Fanny Feuberger and Simon Kelly’s Kevin Kupferblum, starchy Cultural Ambassors with their regal airs and cod European accents.
They look over everything and, in turn, tend to be overlooked by show-off show hostess Marlene Cabana (Annabel van Griethuysen), glamorous Lichtenstein singing star, who has a costume change for every song and a putdown quip or three for every contestant and national stereotype. She is as much the mouthpiece for Christie as an echo of Terry Wogan and Graham Norton’s mickey-taking.
Annabel Van Griethuysen (could the lead actress have a more pan-European name?) is fabulous from start to finish. Her five-star Marlene is an irresistible, irrepressible force, with no time for woke sensibilities, and an Alpine European accent befitting a Bond Girl of Connery days. She takes the demands of direct address in her sassy stride, always accompanied by eye contact.
This Is How I Dance (by not dancing): Idomus (Pierre-Alain van Griethuysen and Megan Taaffe) in statuesque form for Lithuania in Eurobeat: Pride Of Europe
As well as parading her operatic prowess in her singing, especially in Act Two, Van Griethuysen does pretty much all of the script’s heavy lifting, aided occasionally by the staid Cultural Ambassadors and Zander Fick’s Master of Protocols, “Boring” Bjorn Bjornson, a moribund martinet whose every energy-draining interjection is begrudged by Marlene as unnecessary competition for her limelight-hogging.
Trained in opera and jazz singing, Fick has been carving a niche for himself on the York stage in a series of impressively understated yet bang-on performances since moving here from South Africa in April 2023. Once again he favours less is more as he blossoms on the arid terrain of the humourless killjoy, making being “boring” highly watchable.
The importance of being Earnestasia: Emma Rockliff performing Romanian entry Listen
In Act One, somewhat reluctantly on each occasion, hostess Marlene has to make way for the ten acts (nine European, plus the United Kingdom, she quips), looking to upstage them on each costume change. The songs must do their talking for them.
Christie plays on each nation’s Eurovision history and characteristics, kicking off with the infectious, over-calculated melody hooks of Sweden’s Semaphore Of Love, sung by Emma Swainston’s Agnetha-blonde Astrid Lungstomberg.
Poland’s Obwody Wirujące (Kit Stroud, Sophie Cunningham and Chloe Branton), all hard hats and robotic movements, clash for attention with three maids in traditional dress, their song pulling in different directions too. Romania’s Earnestasia (Emily Rockliff) throws in every outdated Eurovision cliché, boom-bang-a-bang style, in Listen.
Nigel and Nadine (Stephen Wilson and Pascha Turnbull) at odds with each other in the United Kingdom’s typically unloveable Why Don’t You Love Me Anymore
The United Kingdom’s Nigel and Nadine (Stephen Wilson and Pascha Turnbull) are akin to a washed-up cabaret act from a bygone era on a crash course to nil points with Why Don’t You Love Me Anymore. Or more accurately, why don’t you love us anymore, post-Brexit?
Representing Lithuania are Idomus (Pierre-Alain van Griethuysen and Megan Taaffe), seriously Eastern European yet delightfully, cutely devoid of self-awareness (unlike hostess Marlene) in singing This Is How I Dance, statuesque to a T, eschewing dance steps in the best moment of Wood and Sarah Cragg’s amusing choreography.
Greece is the word: Chloë Chapman’s Persephone performing Oh Aphrodite, a song she also choreographed
On song for Greece is Persephone (Chloë Chapman), tapping into Greek tragedies in the highly theatrical Oh Aphrodite. Portugal’s Mateus Villela (boy band looker Cain Branton) lives up to the lonesome title Guy With The Guitar, ushering off violinists while stoically declining to play his allotted instrument until the last note in one of Christie’s titular best jokes.
Vatican City (rather than Italy) gives Christie the chance to take pot shots at the Catholic church before Mother Morag and the Sisters of Perpetual Harmony (Evie Latham, Lizzie Kearton, Sophie Cunningham and Emma Swainston) catch the Sixties girl group habit in Good Girl – throwing in a Bucks Fizz costume “strip” for good measure.
Mother Morag and the Sisters of Perpetual Harmony: Vatican City’s answer to a Sixties’ girl group
Christie’s best pastiche goes to France’s Estelle LaCroix (Amy Greene), in red beret and matching lipstick, with a mime artiste to one side and a cyclist with baguettes and string of garlic to the other, as she sings the Gallic ballad Je Vous Deteste Tous, resolutely in French bien sur, her disdain writ large.
Norway closes the contest with Hammer Of Thor (Daniel Wood and Matt Tapp) hammering out the heavily metallic The Vikings, wherein an accountant sheds his day-job skin to join the Nordic warrior beside him as if on a Jorvik Viking Festival weekender in York.
Time for an interval break, one where audience members must pick their top three, either by utilising a somewhat resistant QR Code or resorting to time-honoured pen and paper.
Pulling the heart strings, but not playing the guitar ones: Cain Branton’s Mateus Villela holds back on his fret work in Portuguese entry Guy With A Guitar
Van Griethuysen’s hostess comes even more into her element as the Eurovision send-ups continue, the tension rises and the forced jollity of a Euro party takes over. Martin Lay’s band has fun; costumier Carly Price has even more fun.
Who wins? That’s up to you each show, but you’re on to a winner here if Eurovision is your guilty pleasure.
York Light Opera Company in Eurobeat: Pride Of Europe, Theatre@41, Monkgate, York, until July 5. Performances: 7.30pm, tonight and July 1 to 4, plus 3pm, June 28 and 29 and July 5. Box office: tickets.41monkgate.co.uk.
Who wins at Eurobeat? You decide in the audience vote
