Ready to talk: Nigel Havers heads to the Grand Opera House on Monday
LET Nigel Havers, veteran actor, host of BBC One auction show The Bidding Room and self-deprecating raconteur, explain why he will be “Talking B*ll*cks” at the Grand Opera House, York, on March 23.
“Well, I loved my first tour – and I think the audiences did too – so here we go again! Join me, a stage, and a lifetime of gloriously ridiculous stories to share with you. You’ll get the full Havers experience: charm, wit, and absolutely no running in slow motion,” he says.
“I’ll be taking you on a thoroughly entertaining trot through five decades in showbiz. From my early days as a fresh-faced drama school hopeful, to the highs and lows of a career that’s seen me in everything from Chariots Of Fire and Empire Of The Sun to Don’t Wait Up and some rather marvellous West End plays – and more than my fair share of [London] Palladium pantos.”
Anything else, Nigel? “Of course, there’ll be behind-the-scenes gossip, tales of triumph (and disaster), moments of sheer madness, and a fair bit of talking b*ll*cks. And just when you think you’ve got me figured out, I might surprise you,” he teases.
“Let’s just say there’s a taste of my very first acting role and a little showcase of one of my off-stage talents – I’ll leave you guessing. So, come along for a night of laughter, nostalgia, and, dare I say, charm. It’s going to be a lot of fun – I promise.”
To put flesh on these bones, Nigel delayed lunch with his wife Georgiana Bronfman for a quick chat – more hors d’oeuvres than main course – with CharlesHutchPress. Having “talked b*ll*cks on the road last year, he has decided to tour again, split into spring and autumn itineraries.
“I did 12 dates and it was such fun, as it’s the first time I’ve been on stage without having to learn lines,” he says. “I can just walk on stage and ‘talk b*ll*cks’. I just go wherever my mind takes me.
“Because I haven’t got a script, I feel very free. I feel great. Whereas if you’ve got a script, you think, ‘Oh my God, what if I forget that bit?’ I don’t have any worries about that anymore. I can’t dry because I can just go on to another anecdote.”
He keeps the show to a tight 90 minutes. “It’s 45 minutes, an interval, than another 45 minutes, and no audience questions,” says Nigel, now 73.
“I can’t think of anything better than doing this show. It’s more fun than I’ve ever had!” says Nigel Havers ahead of his York visit. Picture: Matt Crockett
“I come offstage on a high. I have a dry martini, and then go out to dinner with my missus, which is great. It’s a really wonderful evening. And then I’m on to the next town. It’s fantastic. I can’t think of anything better than doing this show. It’s more fun than I’ve ever had!”
Nigel will be reflecting on a five-decade career that has taken in everything from The Charmer to Passage To India, Benidorm to Coronation Street, Yasmina Reza’s Art to the “golden oldies” version of Oscar Wilde’s “trivial comedy for serious people”, The Importance Of Being Earnest, that he brought to the Grand Opera House with Martin Jarvis as John Worthing to his Algernon Moncrieff in Lucy Bailey’s touring production for the Bunbury Company of Players in November 2015.
“Martin and I had done it at the National Theatre 30 years before, and I said, ‘maybe we should do it again’. Martin wasn’t sure at first, but when I further explored why I wanted to re-visit it, he agreed,” he recalls.
Explaining his working practice, Nigel says: “I’ve always been a ‘letter-box’ actor. When a script comes through the letter box, I’ll think, ‘I’ll do that…”
Or not? “I don’t think I’ve ever turned anything down. At least, I can’t remember doing that. You learn by doing things, and as a young actor, a lot of my contemporaries would say ‘I don’t do that’, but I’d say ‘yes’,” says Nigel.
“I used to walk around the BBC at White City, when no-one would check who you were, and you could meet all the producers and end up being cast.”
Unlike the typical 9 to 5 career, actors spend great parts of their life being “someone else”, whether on screen or stage or in the rehearsal. Nigel disagrees, however. “You’re still playing roles all day [in other jobs] because we all do that – and acting takes that further, but it’s a job and it feels like that.
Nigel Havers in the role of Algernon Moncrieff in the Bunbury Company of Players’ production of The Importance Of Being Earnest, on tour at the Grand Opera House, York, in November 2015. Picture: Tristram Kenton
“My wife doesn’t think it’s a serious job – because you can make it look easy. But it’s like watching tennis and thinking, ‘I could do that’. In reality, anyone who makes it look easy is good at it.”
Nigel is a fixture in the London Palladium pantomime, the biggest show of the year each winter in London. “It’s second nature now,” he says. “I play myself mostly. Last year I was the Keeper of the Privy [in Sleeping Beauty]. There was no plot! I was just abused by Julian [Clary], as everyone in the show is. I’m just his foil!” He will be back for more Clary putdowns next Christmas in his 20th consecutive year in pantomime.
Meanwhile, his talking tour rolls on, where the only bump in the road is the title. “Whenever I go on any TV or radio show, they tell me, ‘Whatever you do, don’t mention the title of the show.’ ‘What? Talking B-?’ ‘Don’t say that!’,” he says.
“You could call b*ll*cks ‘nonsense’. If you talk ‘b*ll*cks’, you can talk to anyone – and ‘b*ll*cks’ isn’t a swear word. Lindsay Hoyle [Speaker of the House of Commons] confirmed that the other day in Parliament.”
Beyond anecdotes, what features in the show? “I do a bit of magic, which always goes wrong. I love doing magic tricks, but I do them really quite badly!” says Nigel. “I also make the perfect dry martini at the end. I drag my wife on stage to help me hand out the glasses to the audience. But I don’t allow her to speak because that would cost me money!”
Nigel’s lunch was calling, but not before one last question. Does he have one particular role he still craves playing? “Absolutely nothing that I haven’t done yet! I never have those ambitions. I just wait for the latter box.”
Nigel Havers: Talking B*ll*cks, Grand Opera House, York, March 23, 7.30pm . Box office: atgtickets.com/york.
Never mind the title! The poster for Nigel Havers’ Talking B*ll*cks tour show